Comic: Cyanide and Happiness (Cyanide and Happiness). Page 3

I dislike washing machine in the Laundry: I just don't want strangers saw would look like my underwear, you know how it is to fly. Well, or hit it in though not strong, but the most that neither is a natural tornado.

- Do you like chocolate milk?
- There is not enough chocolate or milk.
- A secret family recipe.

We all have one thing in common. We all were once born and may die at any moment. No evidence of the existence of the afterlife we have. Similarly, there is no evidence that we just sgin, like the memory of human mortality.
If you want people to mourn your death, tell them that with the same success they can and mourn your birth. Both of these events are inevitable.

- I have bad news for you. I accidentally ran over your cat.
- But cats have nine lives!
- I accidentally moved it nine times.

- Hey, Dan-sad shit! How was your date yesterday?
- It was like a roller coaster.
- Yeah?
- She screamed all the way, and in the end puked.

[A herd of kids]
- Adults are so gross! I don't want to grow!!
- Me too!
[Comes Peter Pan]
- And who said that we should grow up?
[Peter pan he pulls out a bag with something and a conspiratorial wink]
[Newspaper headline]
"4 dead in a cult of children-suicides".

- Dad, but who won the war in the Caucasus? Russia or the Caucasus?
- Well, who is now living in the capital?
[Baby, a little after remaining thoughtful]:
- It Turns Out That The Caucasus?

Welcome back! I have good news and bad news. Your fish, I wash her bowl... and accidentally sliced it in the blender.
- And the good news?
- It was very tasty.

- I have something to tell you. I slept with your sister.
What?! Charles, but I have NO sister!
- Wait... Then who... Oh, God... that was you?!

- MA'am, I hate to tell you this. The accident occurred. Your son died.
- Oh my God!! No...
- Uh, I'm kidding. Today, the same day Vice versa. Killed your daughter.

Heh heh, I by mistake put their dirty Laundry instead of a washing machine in the refrigerator. Sometimes I think I'm a complete moron.
Yeah, me too such happens all the time.
- Put underwear in the refrigerator?
- No, I think you're a complete moron.

And on its last legs you'll look back on those times in your life when you could realize its full potential and really accomplish something.
But instead you read comics on the Internet.

- Uhh. Your baby is growing rapidly.
- Yes! Last week he uttered his first words. Soon, he will go for walks... will smile, play games, enjoy life. And then you will die.

- What happened? Were you attacked by bandits?
- No, Charles, you did it yesterday. You were drunk and angry.
- Okay. I was starting to worry.