Author of quotes: Jiri Groshek

Nobody cares about people who wish to take the first call.

If you have brains on one side, one can imagine that it is the beret!

The first law says curdled milk - if you are destined to turn sour, then you're not allowed to ferment...the second law of yogurt claims that it is more interesting to wander around myself, than to hear gurgling others.

About women I have something I do not remember how they look; I don't remember their names; don't want to know from whom they got pregnant.

The set of mental abnormalities is the nature...

Russian tourists are disappointed - they have no place to knock on the table dead fish. Because the beer in Prague it is customary to drink with dumplings, and the dumplings did not knock - they are balls of dough...

Breakfast buffet is like playing Russian roulette. Charging one spoiled mushroom in drum of thirty dishes, and a long rest you provided.

I must say that in questionable situations, I look at the TV. For example, invite a girl and immediately after news - to switch to porn. What, in fact, one and the same. If the girl did not notice such a smooth transition, it is possible to talk to her about the amazing property of some individuals to get offspring. And if you noticed, we can say: "Oh!" They say, pressed the wrong button. To wait, when the news ends, and having this girl home. Maybe she is a future political scientist and prefers vegetative reproduction.

Maybe it is not good to talk about the officials, but they looked Gaidar hereditary tribe hating Russian.

Anyone who expects compassion, needs to start to lose weight. Not slapping their belly for emphasis.

- One man had a dream - said of Sesterces, getting closer to me, that he rises with the sun and sets with the moon. The man interpreted this to mean that his wife was stupid. And smart women - blondes and redheads.

- Do you have any perverse pictures? innocently I asked.
Irena for a moment ceased to crackle.
- How flawed? she said. - Since there are pictures where I weigh seventy-five pounds. From my point of view is immoral.

When I lost a friend, I decided to have himself a true friend - a dog or a wife.

When a woman does not have enough arguments, she grabs the frying pan.