Character: Max Black

- Max, where have you been all night?! I had to watch Carson and cry, "They're still talking into the void!"
- Spent the night at Becky on the couch, which, believe it or not, store-bought new furniture!
Oh, so you had a good time? Strange, because you were separated in childhood. Nice. Nice. Nice that it's so nice.
- Uh-uh... What does that mean?
I just thought we... never mind.
- Oh, no, please!
- You know, I thought we were exclusive, for lack of a better word.
Is the word "monogamy"? We're monogamous friendship? What's the big deal?! And you had friends before me.

- I got Claire on the phone.
- And that lands in the Hudson?
- She wants to make a couple changes. What is it?
Tell her I hate her. No, wait! I'll tell you! Love to talk with smart person. Give me the phone!
- Max, beg - one thousand three hundred dollars.
- Yes, she is crazy! She had a giant cake out of which POPs a psychiatrist!

- Max, how's the cake?
- This bride is crazy! She changed her mind right in the process of produmyvanie!

Why I set fire to somebody's head, so you think it's because of ex-boyfriend?

Wow! Modern mixers are so expensive! I thought, in the supermarket there will be many, and much cheaper. That we can't afford.
- And how much they should cost?
I don't know. I'm just not used to looking at the price tags. I usually poke frown - and all purchased.

- You do know that the fridge, not a bomb shelter? Get out and tear his ass on the British flag!
- I am ashamed, Max.
- For what?! He's abandoned you!
- I am ashamed because I'm a waitress. He remembers me billionaire in the mansion. And now I'm a waitress in the fridge...
- So, when you have the whole day sitting in his pile of stock and others you scrubbing toilets - you can be proud of? And when you do for a living - it means shame?

- Caroline, sounds like the first rule of our cafe?
Not to say that the meat is fake?
- Hush! If you see it, it's real.
Not to say that the shrimp out of the trunk of your friend?
- He lays the blanket out there!

- On Tinder I want to have 78 guys. Oh, 79! 80!
How long have you been on Tinder?
Ten minutes!

This are big changes!
Without you there would be boring.
- No, Max. Han here, as the art of, forever!

- Girls, can do something for me?
- You know the drill. Not for you, not you and certainly not us!

And you haven't dated since Ben Affleck was the best!

If there's anything I've learned in life, it's that nothing's more flammable than my dreams.

Wow, damn, how'd you get them?
Turned Caroline into a whore.

- One day she'll come for you in the dark, maybe with a knife.
- And cut off your testicles, one or both.