Character: Stan Marsh. Page 1

- Why are you bothering? In school we said on TV that the civilians of Afghanistan and Pakistan like America!
And you believed them? Not only the Taliban hates America. A third of the world hate America!
- But for what? What we hate?
Because you do not know that a third of the world hate you!

- Still poor - it sucks! Your ancestors sit on the Dole, but still are going to have another one! Poor people reproduce, not caring about overpopulation, which means I have to pay taxes! Why?
- Fatty, you don't pay taxes, you're eight.

In the life of every man there is something sacred, that more than anything else...
That's a bike?
- Ham?
- What a ham, you freak?!
- Fuck you! Ham, Yes?

- Ms. Cartman, your son took something that does not belong to him.
- I taught him to respect other people's property... But what?
- The ballots of several States, and the President declared the wrong.
- Leave for a week without TV!

- I've had enough! You never took drawing lessons seriously! You think that art is not serious?
I don't know, it's something for homosexuals that is...
- I like this!
- Here see.

Sorry, we wanted to send a goat to Afghanistan.
- I beg your pardon?
Is an Afghan goat, he can't stay here, he'll suffocate in the sweet air of freedom.

Nefig me to tell you what to do - I am 8 years old!

I think today I learned a lot. It's easy to avoid seeing people on the screen as real, but they are real. It's easy for us not to pay attention to the picture on the TV, but behind them are real people, like us.

- ... I just wanted to tell you that drugs are bad.
Yeah we know, we know. That is what all say.
- Right. But why is that bad?
- Because drugs causing persistent addictive, a way of solving personal problems, leading to diseases of body and mind, they are fraught with consequences, considerably outweighing the anticipated benefits from their use.

Adventures only happen if you go where you should not.

- There is no global warming and it has caused a flood.
- How do you know?
Because you know WHAT caused the flood...
- George Bush?
- No.
- The terrorists?
- No.
- The Communists?
- No.
- Chinese radicals?
- No.
- Cartman?
- Kind of...

Our ancestors sometimes so stupid that is not even funny...

But we made a promise to Jesus!
- Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muhammad is in the game!

You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.
I think that if parents would worry less about what their children watch on TV and more concerned about what is happening in their children's lives, this world would be a much better...