Character: Kyle Broflovski

Tomorrow is my birthday, but not okay.
- Have your birthday on Christmas? Sucks for you, dude!

- Christmas is not Santa, and snowmen.
- You're right. Is Jesus.
- No, it's not even Jesus.
- And then what?
Gifts. Understood, Yes? Gifts.

Thank God, we live
Different trash and redneck,
Prosperity breathing,
In these vile, provincial,
Awesome USA!

Crime against the backdrop of hatred, this monstrous hypocrisy. Over the past few years, our country has drafted new laws on crimes of hate. If someone is killing somebody, it is a crime, but if you kill someone with a different skin color, it is a crime of hate. We believe that it is hypocrisy, because all crimes are equal. If a man beats another man because he slept with his wife, what was the cause of it not hatred? If a person encroaches on a public building, is not hatred of the government? Skin color should not affect the verdict, enough to divide people into subgroups, the law only emphasizes that black differs from white that homosexuals should be treated differently. Aren't we the same? Aren't we equal? Instead, we should be equal and carry equal punishment for equal crimes.

- I saved money and will be able this year to buy the M80.
- I'm in some movie I saw as one guy put this thing to the cat in the ass.
Cool, maybe we'll get Karmanovskoe cat?
Hey, if someone touches my cat, I have to shove a firework in his pants, so all eggs for the pants smeared!
- Well you give.
And I warned that my kitty wasn't hurt...

- We can't get out! We do not have time to stop him!
- And you don't have any super-powers?
- While I'm mortal, no, only after death. Wait a minute, I know. Kyle, we have no choice, you have to kill me.
- What?
- Hit me with this. If I die, will be resurrected on the other side of the bars.
No way, do it yourself!
Suicide is a mortal sin. Kyle, there is no choice.
- People, you don't understand, I'm Jewish. I have a thing for killing.

- Looks like we once again saved our country from British rule.
- Yes, it proves that it is impossible to look for enemies, only the same nationality, in fact we absolutely hated the whole world!

- I knew it! You didn't plan the attacks of 11 September and you didn't kill that guy!
Boys, you don't understand, people must think that we have absolute power, that we control the world, and if not we are to blame for those attacks, so we control nothing.
- But why didn't you tell people the truth?
- The truth we also talked and most do believe but a quarter of Americans are idiots. If they want to believe that we control everything and build conspiracies, let them believe.

- I have brilliant news! Yesterday in Denver was Vice President dick Cheney and I interviewed him for our program.
Interview with the Vice President? Well, to be honest, I don't even know how to put it between the pie-eating contest and a kid who peed on Monday.
Yeah, but that was real news!
Is boring news!
<...>
- Listen, I don't like the direction our program. We toplees our school.
- No, at school and so everything is stupid. We give them what they want.
- We make news close to the students.
- Yes, but it's not news, it's a disgusting pursuit of ratings! What about our journalistic duty to tell the facts? Don't you see what's happening? Trying to compete with the ridiculous show of Craig, we discredited the very notion of news!

- Jews can't be ninjas! Guts!
- You don't know anything about Jews, fatty!
- My mom took me to "the passion of the Christ" and Mel Gibson said you were Judas, snakes and liars! But if it's said mad Max, then it's true!

Dude, I thought that Afghan guys almost convinced you hate America.
- No, dude! Of course, America may have many problems, but this is our home, our homeland, our team. If you don't support their team, get out of the stadium!

In the life of every man there is something sacred, that more than anything else...
That's a bike?
- Ham?
- What a ham, you freak?!
- Fuck you! Ham, Yes?

The person should have the right to die when he wants.

- Ms. Cartman, your son took something that does not belong to him.
- I taught him to respect other people's property... But what?
- The ballots of several States, and the President declared the wrong.
- Leave for a week without TV!