Character: Stan Marsh

- Christmas is not Santa, and snowmen.
- You're right. Is Jesus.
- No, it's not even Jesus.
- And then what?
Gifts. Understood, Yes? Gifts.

Three evenings ago I was sitting in the library, reading a book, and there met an amazing woman. She knows so much about everything, it made me think. Then we went to me and there began the most important...
- As usual, you had sex with her by the fireplace?
No, much better! We just sat all night and talked. All night.

Families are not always at peace but when over us the forces of evil are gathering, we can beat them because we are together.

Here is the girl in the soul, hold me
Watching her I'm like in a dream.
Pass in the distance, and I'm on fire
And ekaet something in my peritoneum.
I know I'm supposed to like her.

Thank God, we live
Different trash and redneck,
Prosperity breathing,
In these vile, provincial,
Awesome USA!

We know what to do. We all watched "It" and "Very strange things". We must take the bags, go into the forest and rescue all under the killer songs of the 80s.

Crime against the backdrop of hatred, this monstrous hypocrisy. Over the past few years, our country has drafted new laws on crimes of hate. If someone is killing somebody, it is a crime, but if you kill someone with a different skin color, it is a crime of hate. We believe that it is hypocrisy, because all crimes are equal. If a man beats another man because he slept with his wife, what was the cause of it not hatred? If a person encroaches on a public building, is not hatred of the government? Skin color should not affect the verdict, enough to divide people into subgroups, the law only emphasizes that black differs from white that homosexuals should be treated differently. Aren't we the same? Aren't we equal? Instead, we should be equal and carry equal punishment for equal crimes.

- That the Lord does not answer, does not mean that he does not care.
- And then why he does not give what I ask for?
- God cannot answer all prayers and give whatever you want. It will destroy the meaning of life.
- It's like?
- If the Lord will answer all prayers, we will have nothing to do. Life is about problems and overcoming those problems. We are growing and learning on these issues. If the Lord will do everything for us, then there is no point in our existence.

- Fat ass, shut up!
- Shut up, you ass!
- You shut up, Sidor fucking!
- You shut up, you poop-heads!
- God, what are you, enemies?
What makes you think that? We are friends.

- I saved money and will be able this year to buy the M80.
- I'm in some movie I saw as one guy put this thing to the cat in the ass.
Cool, maybe we'll get Karmanovskoe cat?
Hey, if someone touches my cat, I have to shove a firework in his pants, so all eggs for the pants smeared!
- Well you give.
And I warned that my kitty wasn't hurt...

Wendy, you should be able to correctly set priorities. What is more important to Shine in the TV, or to prevent some stupid murder?

Now they have a ring of innocence.
- What is it?
- These are rings that they hadn't had sex and never did.
- Ring to keep you together but not had sex... It's a wedding ring, right?

- I have brilliant news! Yesterday in Denver was Vice President dick Cheney and I interviewed him for our program.
Interview with the Vice President? Well, to be honest, I don't even know how to put it between the pie-eating contest and a kid who peed on Monday.
Yeah, but that was real news!
Is boring news!
<...>
- Listen, I don't like the direction our program. We toplees our school.
- No, at school and so everything is stupid. We give them what they want.
- We make news close to the students.
- Yes, but it's not news, it's a disgusting pursuit of ratings! What about our journalistic duty to tell the facts? Don't you see what's happening? Trying to compete with the ridiculous show of Craig, we discredited the very notion of news!

Why didn't you vote?
Well, election is great, but this time I won't care, because it's a choice between douche and shit sandwich.
- Don't you know that you always have to choose between enema and shit? Since the first election we choose between enemas and shit. They only have enough meanness so far in politics.