Character: Ron Swanson

I can't go because you don't want.

- You're stuck on a desert island. What one thing would you take with you?
- Silence.

- Should I leave?
- Oh, you still here? Yes.

- Hey, Ron, you're not gonna kill the pig?
Don't worry, I have permission. (holds a sheet)
It says: "I can do what I want. Ron".

- Hello?
- Can I help you?
Hi! My class came here on a trip and I have to take someone's interview for a school project.
Okay. You can sit at the table and who ever is here and will appear.
And aren't you here now?
- No.

You were on a desert island. What one thing will you take with you?
- Silence.

Metaphors? I hate metaphors. That's why my favorite book is "Moby dick" - no froufrou symbolism, just a good, simple story about a man who hates an animal.

- I have a joke for you.
Okay.
- The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently.

- Hey, Ron, I have a surprise for you.
You know, my first wife once said that he was preparing a surprise. When I pulled up to the house, through the window I saw the house hiding my friends. I went to the gas station, called the cops and said that my house, someone broke in. I do not like surprises, in General.

Usually, if I have a choice between doing something or nothing, I choose nothing. I'll work all night if it helps someone else do nothing. But I'll do anything, if nothing is done.

Welcome to "Vision of nature". In this room there are several paintings. Some more, some less. People did them, and now they're here. I'm sure after the show they all hung in city hall. Why is the government involved in these exhibitions is beyond my comprehension. And I think it's pointless to draw human forms of nature, when they could just go outside and look around yourself.

Your house is not haunted. You just feel lonely.

- Look, I found all three differences!
Is actually two different pictures.

There is no sadness that can't be cured by Breakfast food.