Movie: Due Date (Due Date)

- I've been wanting to tell you something, which I feel terrible. I kind of want to remove the burden from the soul. I... I ditched you at the rest stop in Louisiana.
What?
I wasn't going to return.
- It's not fair. How could you do that?
- Because I'm a pig. I'm the asshole. But I'm working on it.
- Well, you know what? You came back with doughnuts. I think that says more about you than leaving does. So just... You're just special.
Thank you. What a relief.
Well, I also want to remove some burden from the soul.
- Come on.
- Actually, I'm not 23.
I know. Everything is fine.

- Take your glasses off.
- I just bought it, wanted to showcase them.
- Now night. You're behind the wheel.

- I'm sorry we drank your father.
All is well.
- Are you okay? Sure?
- Yes, it's still a lot left. Darryl only made three cups of coffee, I think there are still eight cups of my dad.
- Great.
- At least the taste of it was good.
- Good.
- Yes, strong.
He was with a strong flavor. Vigorous mix.

- It's awful. Tastes like cat litter.
I think it's amazing.
- Another would be. I ran out of coffee, so I brewed the one you brought.
- Oh, my God. It was his father, it's his father!
- Okay. Buy another coffee. I'm sorry. What's the problem?
His father is the coffee. He died, and his remains were in the fucking can.
- Get him out of here. Bearded man and his dog out of here!

Let me give you some friendly advice. No one who calls himself "Hollywood" never made it in Hollywood.

- It was Shakespeare. Ever hear of that?
Yeah, I heard about it. He's a famous pirate. And by the way, it's Shakesbeard.

- But my conscience is clear, let me tell you why you're not coming with us, okay? Not because you kicked me out of the plane and got shot. Not because you stood by and watched as the disabled kicked my ass. I will leave you here not because you almost got me killed during the most important week of my life. I'll leave you here for a far more important reason: I despise you on a cellular level.
- I've heard that, and I try to work on it.

- Sonny's all banged up. I was a wreck. You don't have a scratch!
- The doctor said I was sleeping so soundly that he had not time to strain. I told you to sleep.
Yeah. And the doctor said that sleep driving is not recommended?
I just wanted to rest my eyes for a few seconds. Seriously, next time try not to strain.

- Tell me about your father. What did he do?
- He was a toll road.
Really?
He was very sociable. He loved his work. Every evening he came home and laughed at the queue length in front of him. Because he loved to chat with everyone who passed through his entry. Oh. How about you? Where is your father?
Well.... I have no idea.
- When did you see him last?
- In 1977.
Wow. Oh.
Yes. I went to my room and said, "Petey, I have an important assignment for you. I need you to Wake me up at 5:30 tomorrow morning." I was in ecstasy because he never asked me anything. I wasn't sure existed for him. Well... It was an event. I was so excited. I set the alarm clock. I could barely sleep. I just watched him all night. When it went off at 5:30, I snuck into his room, gently woke him up. He smiled at me. The first time I saw him smile. But he had his bags Packed by the front door; he picked them up, put them in the trunk of a car... and drove away. The last time I saw him.

- Where are you from?
- Los Angeles.
- Is that where you go?
Yeah.
- You can take us with you?
- No, but there's an organization called child protective services.

- I'm Alex. This Is Patrick.
Great. Alex. Mommy gave you a boy's name.
- What do you mean?
Boys, too, called Alex. So your mom kind of screwed.

I left my glaucoma medication on the plane.
Wait, wait, wait. Your what? You mean your weed?
- It's medical marijuana, Peter.
- No, it's weed.
- Why do you make everything so dark?

I didn't want to play this card, at least not so early. But you know what. Guess who has a Subaru Impreza. I have. Guess who has all the money. I have. Who is charming and attractive? Ya And what do you have? You've got great hair, okay. You have a strong jaw, fine. But I have to tell you something, mister. Your personality needs some work.

- Why your father's ashes in a jar from a coffee can, Ethan?
Because he died, Peter.
I know. I know that part.
- You did not listen?
I'm just saying, normal people put remains in an urn. It is hermetically sealed. You it was opened, when poured coffee. You poured your father's remains and closed it. That it has not sealed.
Is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.