trauma [Theme]
When you look back, some excesses are tempting to be edited, like an unsuccessful sentence in a text, or deleted altogether. It seems that if you deny their presence, it will be easier to move on. But this not only creates knots in the soul, but also stops. It is possible to physically move between events and countries, notice how the reflection in the mirror ages, and the number of candles on the birthday cake increases over the years - but still be at the age and place when the mental trauma began. Personal collapse is akin to death. And without all the stages of grief, it is impossible to cope with this episode and overcome it. Both the death of a loved one and the murder of some part of oneself - as a rule, this is an innocent element of the essence - is accepted along with tears and anger. You can’t just keep something good and throw away the bad - it’s all intertwined. One thing leads to another. Or you cut off your past completely and pretend that it didn’t exist at all, and thereby cut off a piece of your life. Or you accept everything. At the same time, it is worth remembering: by avoiding pain, you are running away from the future.
Great sport begins where health care ends.
The narcissist becomes asexual after such betrayal and betrayal. This is the exact opposite of cuckolding. Cuckolds get sexual arousal from betrayal and betrayal. Their libido increases, not decreases. They are not depressed. They're just in pain.
Quote Explanation: “Narcissistic fantasy of betrayal.”
These are permeable dissociative partitions. This is a fascinating concept because it explains many things that we couldn't explain until now.
Quote Explanation: The shared repository is the place where all changes come and from which all updates are pulled.
- Not all. But only what is needed. A very convenient injury.
Any injury requires treatment, no matter whether it is mental or physical. And if everything is relatively clear with physical health, then for some reason mental health is treated either with wedge therapy
Under the influence of fear, the most annoying, inexorable, provocative questions come to mind: what if? what if? but what if? When you are seized with panic fear, when your body is shaking and your heart is pounding, when a trauma that you have long experienced threatens to swallow you again, take your hand and say: “Fear, thank you for wanting to protect me.” Then say: “What was in the past has already passed, and now everything is different.” Repeat this more than once. You almost made it! That's all. Embrace yourself by the shoulders, say that you love yourself, praise yourself, call yourself a good fellow and a smart girl.
Injuries need to be experienced.
Stress management experts agree that the effects of trauma do not depend on the extent of the tragedy experienced, but on our ability to seek and find solace in relationships with other people.
When a close person is nearby, ready to console and support, injuries heal more easily and faster.
How to get rid of injuries? You return to the moment that hangs on you, suffocating, and you need to find what you could do differently. This is how acceptance begins.
Quote Explanation: from the intellectual series "Shot of Life"
How to get rid of injuries? You return to the moment that hangs on you, suffocating, and you need to find what you could do differently. This is how acceptance begins.
Quote Explanation: from the intellectual series "Shot of Life"
They flow slowly - in a weak, almost imperceptible flow - moving through time and space until they find a crack where they can settle and harden. If we take, for example, children who grew up under the same roof, then some suffer from such injuries more than others. Haven't you ever met brothers and sisters who were completely different from each other in temperament, although they had the same opportunities? One of them is always more withdrawn and melancholic than the other. That happens. Sometimes family traumas skip a generation and double their grip in the next. Often, grandchildren silently carry the grievances and experiences of their grandparents.
You cannot change the factual side of your life. However, there is a productive approach: to analyze your behavior in the past and understand how childhood experiences guided your choice of actions and people. If you do this objectively, without falling into the usual self-criticism and self-flagellation, you can become the mistress of your own destiny.
The best thing you can do for yourself to avoid getting into or getting into fewer traumatic, disgusting situations is not to rely on any protection from outside. But it means being a person who is not afraid to take responsibility for their decisions. To become an adult who does all this work of connecting with his emotions, formulating situations for himself, right at the moment of formulating: what I want, what I'm going to, what I'm doing.
