Author of quotes: Sam Vaknin

Information was my strength.

Even handing over your own partner to another man, which is the most excruciating and painful experience imaginable, is much more bearable than not being able to separate from her.

The magnitude of the grandiosity of the narcissistic self-idealization depends on his possession of the partner. This is called co-idealization. When a narcissist idealizes his partner, he thereby idealizes himself in that he owns his partner. It is as if he said: “I own this ideal object, which means that I myself am ideal.”

Often the narcissist himself chooses a man who will be an excellent candidate for cheating on his wife or girlfriend. These are all parts of a theatrical play or film. It's all about the narcissistic fantasy of betrayal. The narcissist needs to be betrayed. Because during the betrayal, the narcissist experiences such pain that it will facilitate his separation. And it will not only facilitate, but also make separation irreversible.

The narcissist becomes asexual after such betrayal and betrayal. This is the exact opposite of cuckolding. Cuckolds get sexual arousal from betrayal and betrayal. Their libido increases, not decreases. They are not depressed. They're just in pain.

These are permeable dissociative partitions. This is a fascinating concept because it explains many things that we couldn't explain until now.

A psychotic person confuses internal objects with external ones because he does not have the constellation "I". It's the same with a narcissist. He confuses external objects with internal ones because he has no self. Therefore, when you have a clearly constructed “I”, which is built on the foundation of continuous memories, dissociation goes away, the shell of fantasy collapses.

In psychotic disorder, we know that people become clones of each other. There is even a famous study on the physiological level of women. Women who are placed in the same room synchronize their menstrual cycles over time. Almost everyone started their period on the same day.

The narcissist simply needs to separate from the intimate partner, because if he does not do this, a repetition of the horrific dynamic relating to the real mother will occur. This dynamic includes life-threatening shame and other negative effects.

Here you go - simple music. Not even an abuser.

He even decides what you will think about and when. You have given up complete control to the abuser in a shared fantasy. He only reinforced these processes in you through training. These trainings have turned you into a machine, a device that the abuser uses.

You fall in love with the way the narcissist sees you.

Narcissism is a form of private religion.