Author of quotes: Sam Vaknin. Page 2

They don't pay attention to the consequences of their actions. In their fantasy worlds, any actions do not lead to adverse consequences, because they are god-like, omnipotent, they are above human laws, regulations and morality of ordinary mortals.

People who don't use critical thinking believe ninety percent of what others say. They don't bother checking. There is no time to engage in a complex research project about who you are. If you say some negative things about yourself, if you present yourself in a negative light, then why not believe you?

Learning is when you know something and then react emotionally to it. And the emotional reaction to what you have learned creates a memory trace. And we call this learning. If you are simply confronted with given pieces of information and have no emotional reaction at all, you are likely to forget it. Research has shown that within one year, you are likely to forget 90% of the information you encounter. Because you don't have an emotional reaction. If I tell you facts right now about something that really doesn't interest you at all, you will most likely forget it within one year, within a few days. So this is the same thing. I know what I know about narcissism, but it doesn't trigger any emotional response. So I keep forgetting the lessons of my life. It's like every single day, I'm reborn as a child. And I make the same mistakes, I face the same problems, I experience difficulties. I do everything wrong again and again, almost without exception. I put myself in danger again and again. There is no learning process here, no cumulative acquired conditioning.

The vast majority of psychopaths, like the iceberg, are underwater, and like the iceberg, they are inert. They don't do anything. They're just there. They torture their spouse because of their indifference, but do not beat or kill her. They intimidate their colleagues, but they don't burn down the office. They are not dramatic. They are destructive. Most psychopaths are elusive. They are more like a poison than a knife, and they are more like a slow-acting poison than cyanide.

He is no longer with us. He has lost touch with reality. He plunges into its inner murky dynamics. There is nothing more you can do for him. He's gone far. Where you can never go.

So, in the narcissistic mind, he abandons you as an object of persecution. Little by little you become enemy number one, two and three. He needs you to become an enemy. Because he must give up on you.

You never mean what you say. The narcissist says: “You are very cunning, you repeat twice, you don’t tell the truth, I can’t understand what you need, I can’t understand your goal. You are not mysterious, but insidious. Again, that look of a psychopath.”

Narcisse was betrayed by his mother when he was still a child. And you reconstruct and repeat this childhood betrayal. But in fact, he is the one pushing you to betray him, and then accusing you of it. The narcissist says, “You want my money. And after that, you will lie to me and deceive me with others. You have me trapped. I could have done so much better, but because of you I'm stuck here. Because of you, I cannot realize myself, realize my potential. You're a bad influence on me."

The narcissist also accuses you of being a self-destructive and hateful person. “You want to drag me into your terrible lair,” says the narcissist. “Your attempts are doomed to failure. I won't fall for it. I'm more than that. I'm floating in the stratosphere. I have cosmic meaning. I'm God. Don’t try to drag me down to the level of an ordinary person.”

Don't think that by caring for a narcissist, by sharing something with a narcissist, you can somehow change their thinking or state of mind. You can not. Because this isn't about you. We are talking about the inner world inhabited by avatars. This is a paracosm, an alternate reality in which a narcissist writes movie scripts.

Even your most harmless actions, even if your actions are not related to the narcissist at all, they will be woven into the story that the narcissist is the victim. The narcissist will keep a very watchful eye on you, observing, spying on you to gather incriminating evidence. Everything you say and do will be used against you during a narcissistic trial. You have been warned. It will be like this: I am the victim, and you are my abuser. The narcissist also thinks that you are an emotional blackmailer. You sacrifice something so you can then use your own sacrifice to get the narcissist to behave in a certain way.

The narcissist thinks that you are manipulating him, playing with his mind. He thinks it's a game of power and mind that you've gotten yourself into. He is confused, he is disoriented. You are his mother, a maternal figure. Why are you doing this to him? So whenever you disagree with the narcissist, or criticize something, or suggest something, or give advice, or even offer help, the narcissist perceives it as shifting blame that is contrary to the facts. But there are facts in the narcissist's mind that he is innocent, he doesn't deserve what you do. Your actions border on malicious intent

And this narrative is about how you change for the worse. Narcissists are paranoid. They have delusions of persecution. They view the world as a hostile place.

Therefore, he says to himself: “I thought about her correctly and adequately when I met her. My perception of her was correct. Everything is fine with me. She is the one who has changed. Why she changed so much - I don’t know. This is all the influence of her envious friends. Her family is turning her against me. Is she mentally ill or is she physically ill. Perhaps some medications affected her.