Movie: Real vampires (What We Do in the Shadows)

- Oh, no, you can't eat this.
- Why?
[Sick nick blood]
- Well, how's it going, Nick? Normal?
- He ate a Yam.
- I eat not. Super. To sunbathe it is impossible, and the TV will not look. But potatoes - well this is most annoying! Favorite food is now impossible! In short, being a vampire sucks.

- Yes, some clothes we release the victims. Sometimes, she'll bite someone, and then think: "Mmm, I like your pants are!"

Well, I don't know how else to describe it, just the cold, it's hot, the blood from his eyes and fly.

- Can't dress up a Blade, he's a vampire hunter!
- The same, but vampires love Wesley snipes!
Is tactless!

Once I went... was selling all sorts of goods... and passed by this old creepy castle. I looked at him and thought "how old and ugly!" Then suddenly some kind of creature came at me! And dragged into a dark dungeon! And bit into my neck. And when to death was only a moment, this creation made me drink his dirty blood... and then it spread its wings and hovered above me - "you're a vampire!"... It was Peter! We are still best friends.

Being a vampire sucks. So don't believe the hype, guys.

'I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
- I look at it this way: if you want to eat a sandwich, you get a much more fun, knowing that no one was fucking.

- The point is, deacon, that you have not done the dishes for five years.
- Vladislav is right. It is unacceptable that we have such a mountain of bloody dishes.
- Me people to lead uncomfortable!
- Who cares, you still kill them! Vampires don't do dishes.

I haven't had mortal friends. The problem is they have such love to die.

I became a vampire at the age of sixteen, and so I I still look sixteen. The life we then, in sixteen years... it was serious.