Author of quotes: Benny Hill

If your parents never had children, you would do the same.

Drinking and sex. That's what killed your uncle - booze and sex.
- Right. He could not get neither one nor the other, and therefore shot himself.

If God wanted us to fly, he'd given us the tickets.

If you meet a village girl with a straw in his mouth, she almost certainly sucks the gas.

Judges in tennis sit high in the event that they couldn't get it.

I don't have the guts to answer the question of whether or not I'm shy.

Those who advocate birth control, they themselves have already been born.

My neighbor left the bike at home, and he had three times stole a Bicycle pump. The police advised him to take the pump with you. He did so, and the same evening he stole the bike.

Life is very similar to football. We all want to score the ball. Well, or just to show that we are capable of.

The fact that no one complains, yet does not speak about good quality parachutes.