Character: Jeff Winger

Why around me going some losers?! Due to growth? The lower layer takes me by the statue of Liberty?

- I hope that it will quench. But in the bedroom I am an indefatigable baboon.
Don't be modest, you're a baboon everywhere.

We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and to give Ben Affleck an Oscar for his script. People can get attached to anything.

Well, Shirley, since you still can't understand the empty Central metaphor devoured you books about twilight, let me explain: men are beasts, devouring young flesh. The end!

If I wanted to learn something, I wouldn't have gone to community College.

I'm not a big supporter of marriage. It is a relic of the days when "till death do us part" meant "till your first cold." Life is too long to spend it with one person.
- Marriage is for suckers.
- This is double framed. Already have the courage to die alone.

Hey, if you come with me, fulfill my directions and you'll deny it, then you win. 100% satisfaction guarantee.
- I understand. Do you think that's gonna save my skins using legal force than will cause cramping of grateful arousal.
- I can neither confirm nor deny this. See how good I am!

I have to plan in advance how to prove to him that I live in the present.

Hey, it's our anniversary. For exactly two weeks I make you sick.

People can find something good in anything, but not himself.

The greatest weapon is respect... and I think so because it is not a natural instrument, and we constantly forget to use it, then we start to fight each other, use each other, humiliate each other and manipulate each other, and so we lose each other. Without respect we simply die out, and that's a fact.

- Professor, you at least look at the amount of effort that I put into this, can you give me a hand?!
- If I have not wept over the sunrise this morning, I would have drowned in tears.
And what the fuck it means?!
- What do you mean, Jeff? What does your life mean? How much time you spend in the morning to get you on the head was so sloppy the barn? How many combinations of sweat pants and sports jackets you went through before you found one that says: "I don't care"? Live in the present day, Jeff, the real one! Run naked under the rain, kiss the girl in the middle of the day, fly a kite, but do it FOR YOURSELF! Or you don't just fail my class, you fail your whole life.

I at an early age realized that depending on supply, I can make something right or wrong, so either I'm God or truth is relative.

- Jeff. You should have more respect for our time.
Shirley, if I killed someone, would you forgive me Christian?
- Of course!
Or is your time more valuable than human life or anything that I'm running a little late.