TV series: The Office (The Office). Page 1

- Look, Ryan, I want to play Andy?
- Not now, ask me later, about ten years ago.

The booze never killed anyone.

I love Jessica, and we don't even know! We don't feel like you need to get acquainted! I already love you, stay home.

Bandits like raccoons. Feed them cat food and they come back for the cat.

I just don't want employees thinking they may lose their jobs because of their misconduct.

I was so busy watching him that I had not yet started work. Exhausting to be that vigilant. I think going home early today.

I hate the hamster inside.

- Meredith, I ask you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi.
Hi.
- I am ashamed at your naked face. Should I cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.

I once lived for 28 years without sex. And then for another seven years.

- What have you got?
Yeah it's just an old photo album of Stanley. I was thinking about throwing it in the trash. I mean, why would I want some random black man's old photo album sitting on my bookshelf. I'm not James Franco.

You know, sometimes, to take another look at things, I think about a spaceman on a star incredibly far away. Our problems don't matter to him because we're just a distant point of light. But he feels sorry for me. Because he has an incredibly powerful microscope. And he can see my face.

- Do you know anything about movies?
- I know all about movies. I looked about 240 pieces.

Don't want to work... want the day to Bang on this mug.

Today Erin and I have our first date. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to the TV series "How I met your mother", your kids will patiently wait for the story about this date, and you'd better lay up for them a good story.