Book: My grandmother told me to bow and say sorry

"The world is changing is not such as everything, - said the grandmother. - Ordinary people there is nothing to change and gulkin Fig".

... one day the Keeper of time read the instructions on the package of cream: "apply to face, avoiding the eye area", beside himself with rage, he called the manufacturer and said that the face of hell, this is the area around the eyes.

Near the door stood a white clamshell with advertising prices: "ESPRESSO in just 19 kronor." Elsa struggled to keep it together, so says my mother. But in the end could not resist, took out a red marker and neatly crossed out the letter "K" in the word "espresso".

- Do you have a light?
- I'm seven years old! - cut'elsa.
How long are you gonna hide behind?
- Until then, until I turn eight!

Grandma loved Alsoi together to watch the evening news. Sometimes after the news, Elsa asked my grandmother why adults do dumb shit. The grandmother replied: this is because adults are people too, and people are inherently assholes. Elsa objected that it is illogical, because except for the stupid things adults have to do a lot of good. For example, space flight, United Nations, vaccines, sirotci. To this my grandmother replied: "the Whole trick is that no one person is completely full of shit, but not to be they also can not. It is important to try to be less asshole - but this is the most difficult thing in life."

But back to the point: grandma has two superpowers - to save lives and make the brain. We can say that grandma is a superhero with dysfunction. What is the dysfunction that Elsa looked up in "Wikipedia". <...> It is when it works, but not quite as expected. And for that, Elsa loves grandma the most.

Then the boy cried out that Elsa may not be spider-Man because "only a boy could be spider-Man"! Then Elsa said it can be the girl of spider-Man. The boy pushed the ELS on the battery, but Elsa hit him with a book. And let tell you, he had never been so close to literature.

... grandma has never been the victim of an accident. All accidents themselves become its victims.

"Oven buns is serious business, this is not to shit in the sneaker," said grandmother, who had nothing baked. And that, was hoping'elsa, will not use a sneaker for similar purposes.

'elsa'm sure it's just "another version of the truth". So grandma calls a lie.

Can't get rid of the nasty stuff - vitezne her some stuff better.

... stupid people are always accused of carelessness by those who understand fast.

Right grandchildren to know that there are people who are always on your side. Regardless of the circumstances. Even if you're wrong. Especially if you're wrong.
The grandmother is both a shield and a sword, it's a special kind of love, not a single light head.