Author of quotes: Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov. Page 1

What could be more tempting lights of another city...

The average American, regardless of his external activity, in fact, nature is very passive. He has to submit all as ready as spoiled husband. Tell him which drink is better and he will drink it. Tell him which political party is more favorable, and he will vote for it. Tell him what God is "real" and he will believe in him. Just don't do one - don't force it to think in off-duty hours. He does not love, and that he was not accustomed.

Her modest hips unleashed his poetic feelings.

He was so happy that he's in the most unexpected places showed up heartbeats.

My old friend, are you sick of the organizational impotence and pale as a sheet.

Not all orders, directions and instructions to escort one thousand reservations System to do something stupid. Then the modest resolution of, say, banning the transportation of live pigs in the trams would look like this:
"1. It is prohibited, to avoid the penalty to carry in the trams of live pigs.
However, if the penalty charge should not be holders of piglets:
a) push in the chest;
b) to call scoundrels;
C) to push at full speed with the tram platform under the wheels of an oncoming truck;
d) it is impossible to equate them to a malicious hooligans, thugs and embezzlers;
d) it is impossible in any case to apply this rule in respect of the citizens, carrying with them not pigs, and small children under the age of three years;
e) it is impossible to extend it to citizens, not having pigs;
W) and for students, on the streets singing revolutionary songs."

After today's meeting of Ministers on the yacht no convergence is impossible.

Here Pasha Emilevich, who had supernatural power, he realized that now he would be beaten, maybe even feet.

Good choice. The stones I see are tasteful.

The grandmaster moved on to local topics.
- Why in the province there's no game idea! For example, here is your ahsence. So she called Soseki. Boring, girls! Why, indeed, do not call her beautiful, a true chess. This would involve in the Union section of mass. Would call, for example, your section "Chess club four horses" or "Red endgame, or a Loss of quality in the rate of gain". It would be nice! Loudly!

Happiness, thought Ostap, - always comes at the last minute. If you have the Smolensk market, you need to sit in tram number 4, and there, except the fourth, are the fifth, seventeenth, fifteenth, thirtieth, thirty-first, B, G and there are two bus lines that you can be sure that the first will be a G, then two-fifteenth in a row, which are generally unnatural, then the seventeenth, thirtieth, lot B, again G, thirty-first, fifth, seventeenth again and again B.
And that's when you begin to feel that the fourth issue does not already exist in nature, it will slowly come from the Bryansk station full of people. But to get in the car for a good tram passenger is not difficult. Just need the streetcar came. If you need to sit down in the fifteenth number, there's no doubt that first pass a lot of cars of all the other rooms, you damn fourth will be held eight times in a row, and the fifteenth, which is still so recently went through every five minutes, will appear no more than once per day. Just need patience and you wait.

"Ah," said Lokhankin soulful - because in the end who knows! Maybe it should be! Maybe that this is the great homespun truth!
- Homespun? - thoughtfully repeated Bender. - It's homespun, homespun and old-fashioned?

In the big world people are motivated by the desire to benefit humanity. Small world is far from such lofty matters. Its inhabitants desire one thing - somehow live without experiencing hunger.

What do not only people!