Author of quotes: Dylan Moran

Adults are terribly spoiled, lost people. All because they forgot, actually forgot, that does not necessarily have to pretend all the time. The point is that you're not an adult. You're just a tall child holding a beer and host a conversation about what you do not understand.

I don't know how to swim. Led I do not know how. I was going to learn to drive, but then I thought: what if I fall in the lake?

We are told that men need underwear... you know... lace to look like a beautiful cake. "It's not enough that you love me and want to be with me. You have to be a French Fancy."
Actually women don't need to. Usually they are attracted to uniforms. It's not hard to guess what they want. Fascists, that's who they're attracted to.

"Here's your chips, please". - "Chips! Awesome!" "They're awesome, they're crunchy. When I opened them, and will fly out a fierce beam of light and cherubim and angelic music, then they will be awesome, okay? Mountains and rivers and the fact that I'm still breathing, that's awesome"!

It is possible to live in London. This place is amazing. Capital of the world. People from all corners of the Earth, different beliefs, different religions, different cultures, come here to vomit in minitaxi.

Two young, healthy, attractive people in love? There is nothing worse. Go around and gossip: "I can't believe I met you, because I'm so awesome and you're amazing and we're surrounded by assholes. Simply amazing. Hey, I know this great bar. Let's go and make it better."

I don't think Jesus is a good example for children. It is better that it was someone less capricious. For Example, Batman. He was orphaned, but he didn't moan about it. And went to Tibet, did pushups and all. Then came back, put on his ears and climbed onto the roof, prepared for anything dealing with their problems.

You should stay away from its potential, this things need to provide complete rest. Don't, you'll break it! This is the potential, leave him alone! It's like your Bank account. It is always less than you thought.

Every man is corrupt to a hotel room. There's nothing you can do about it. This is the only place in the world where you first steal everything in the eyes, before to undress. Jumping on the bed in a shower cap and think, "What else can I do?"

Scotland: a country in which people fry the food five times to make sure she was dead.

People still turn to Jesus. It should nonetheless be noted that, as a rule, these people, that doesn't really work with other people.

An example of the Irish news: "We are building a bridge, but we have no rivers, through which it could build. So all bets are off, and we no longer have to go to work".

To the belief now generally treated with disgust. Looking at her, as on body fat of the brain.

Journalist: What's the biggest animal you could outrun?
Dylan: the Walrus, I'd be able to outrun a walrus.
Journalist: But they have no legs, it turns out, is sort of a cheat.
Dylan: Who are you to come up with the rules at this stage of the game? You just asked me if I would be able to outrun a freaking animal and I told you what I'm capable of it, and now you reproach me with your rules! In any case - the prize is what?