Author of quotes: Dylan Moran. Page 2

I don't use the Internet. Ask me how you are not keeping up with the times? How can I go faster? I live today, that's pretty important.

Programs about cooking is absurd as the transfer of the repair: you don't need an aquarium in the atrium, which you do not.

I don't do drugs. I don't need it anymore. I'm older, and if I need a ward, you just suddenly get up from his chair.

People compete with each other, to love each other.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Yeah, but I really love you. I mean, seriously.
I love pencils that you have sucked and thrown away 20 years ago.
I love your eyebrows and your ancestry and everything about you.
- Just eat. And let me love you. Shut up!

And you very quickly realize that driving is, in principle, be reduced to swearing. It's what you do... yell in a box with wheels. Because in other circumstances you do. Just don't allow themselves. But when you're driving, why it is in order. If you walk down the street and bump into someone... You're positively Edwardian in your manners. Both pull this demilovato-sheepish grin. And take a step to the side. Both at the same time. Begins: "Oh, Lord God, what can you do?" "Hohoho, there you are!", "I just... uh... just... we did it again! Can you believe it? I don't...", "We need to act together...", "one More time... I just... Oh, how did we come to this?" But for some reason... In the car it would sound like: "You, you dumbass faggot!"

And in the countryside... because they have nothing to do... Know what they are doing? They... they go to each others houses, they come to your house and drink tea. The whole ***any day.
They are twelve miles to come and drink tea. Because they have nothing better to do. And then they do... it's some kind of local hostility... They find all the food and put it in front of that person... and say, "Here, eat!" Because... because if you are not satisfied with the good feast, you will spread bad rumors in the village. And people offer nineteen different varieties of potatoes. Sheets of ham. Sea of ham. Such that a mouthful from the middle of a piece - save on the price of a poncho. They put it in front of that person and say: "Eat shit!"

Women have always a whole bucket of "well moozhet to be" men only stick "now!".
Women have the 'basket of maybes' on their arm, men just have the 'stick of now'.

When you're over 40, you can't wander around with a chocolate curly-verley mouth, because it looks like you ate a baby.

Anyway, I am fat not as an American, and I-delikatesnogo European.
At least I'm not a fat American, I'm interesting European delicatessen fat!

In some cases I went further - I jumped out of bed in the middle of the night to briefly outline the plot of a mind-blowing jokes/novel/operetta, only to have the next morning to find a single word scrawled across the page in bold letters, usually something a bit less startling than “yogurt” or “the beekeeper”.

Mood, inspired by the dreams, of course, leaks in the newly awakened consciousness. One morning You can Wake up full of joy and confidence, convinced that You are truly worthy man. “This is the result of the resolution of personal crisis,” You say to yourself. In fact, it is the result of diligent work of thousands of little men made out of bent Cutlery and olives, which all night long had spat in a wardrobe full of ties with Your boss.

V. strictly no snoring. However, it makes the nose sounds very similar to a powerful lawnmower, chasing a flock of wild geese on the tin vaulted corridor with a carpet of popcorn.

When You can't sleep, You don't want anyone in the radius of your reach could sleep. That's why You push the person next to You and say something like, “Why don't we go to Crete and do not start to breed fireflies? It's not too profitable, but we would have enough to live on”. At this time of night like “ideas” is filled with more meaning than all that You have ever come to mind.

I drank tequila with friends. It's not even a drink. It is a way to call the police without a phone.