Author of quotes: Dylan Moran. Page 3

There is one feature when talking with Russians. I have the feeling that they know some secret. In the eyes. When they listen to you, the feeling that they have fireworks in his eyes. Because where I come from, it's very expressive, emotional. So we were never a strong power. We are doing the whole idea when you speak. But the Russian's eyes. People here listen to you, and you feel that you know how no one never knew. And you tell them again and again! And they listen to you with these fireworks in the eyes. And then you wait to see what they will answer. They moved closer and say something like:
- Do you like soup?..
Yeah, I know, I love soup.
I know where you can have delicious soup to eat...
And that's all you can tell me after all my rants about life?
- No. Need to go now, and then closes.

I communicate with Russians living in the West, and they describe the Russian... sensually. They say: "these are the best people in the world! I hate them. I love them, but hate. They are so indifferent, so stupid, but the smartest people that I ever met. They have amazing thinking. They are incredibly resistant. Very spiritual, but cold, nothing to tell. And then it will tell you. Everything that happened to them in life. Everything that happened with mom, dad, grandma, grandpa... everyone! And then insist you stay for dinner and ate all whole foods. And the chairs and the curtains!"
And now I listen to them and think, "Wow! I did not know that all so hard!"
They said, "no there is nothing complicated! Easy! What is wrong with you? Are you stupid or insane? Or both? And you're fat! I do not like fat! Eat this."
It's very sensual.

The brain is the easy part of the body. It has only three parts: the front that you scratch into the floor first in the morning, and the person with whom you live, asks: "Where have you been?", the middle part, which comes up with an excuse, and the back that sings the latest melody heard in the pub.

With age you become like drooling toddlers and believe in the goodness, and biscuits, and the word of God coming from the radio.. Hush!! News! Oh, a bunch of yogurts was eaten in China! Can you imagine?

Men... They are jealous of women, despite what women think. Sometimes men want to be women. To better understand things... to Be free... to Have the opportunity to ask the questions that women ask every day: "Why did you put a towel... Wet towels... On the floor in the bathroom? You left him there! Why would you do that?" "Well, the guys and I discussed it a few weeks... In the bunker... And came to the conclusion that this is the best place. In the kitchen it wouldn't work."

Men look at Breasts the way women look at babies, "Oh, how lovely!"

People. You are taking a very important decision in your life. To be alone or be with someone? To be sane or not lonely?

You say to the child: "Time for bed, time for bed, time to sleep". The child hears something quite different: "Lie down in the dark! For a long time! And don't move! I close the door!"

People will kill you over time. They will cut off every last bit of fun with you, young, innocent-looking phrases that people use every day, like: "Be realistic! You can even become a realist?". It means seeing the reality as I see it, or die.

I am not against believers. You know, I talked to them, listened to them complain: "I prayed hard, and there was a fairy!" Really? Great. Keep cookie. The only thing I don't like when they try to make me see the fairy. "You have to let the fairy into your heart!" Look, Yes, I would not let her even in your garden, okay? I would have shot without warning. If it existed. But it is not. So take the second cookie and, please, calm down, okay?

What is a "bad thing"? You know! Fucking morning! What is this? This time of day is a huge lie. Get up! Get up! You'll be late! Fast! Late - just imagine! A disaster if we're late! What happens if we're late! Just the thought of it is unbearable! "Late" is an idea. "Late" is bullshit. No matter how you're late. You can come in my pyjamas scratching your nuts with a fork - all the same old shit will be there! It's a lie! People run up to you saying, "What do you think?" - in the morning! "What do you think?" Think? Think? Yes, I ***s, don't even breathe! Go away with your "I think"!

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Love money can't buy, but for them you can get a good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Don't waste your money on these expensive binoculars. Instead, try to stand closer to the object that you want to see.

- You smell good.
- For the past two weeks.