Character: Lev Semenovich Solovev

Does anyone know where the nearest jewelry store?
A block away next to the flower.
Where?
There's a pub across the road
AA

So sometimes, the woman can leave at any time.

- Why a "statement" with a small letter?
- It's big!
- It looks like a little! Go rewrite!
- Are you kidding me? This is the third statement!
- Want to be a chef - learn to work with documents!

- Lev, as you can blurt out on the phone that I'm sick!?
But how was I to know that Elena can hear us? It's your phone!
Apparently, when you live with a woman, your phone is your phone!

Well, I straightened up, disabled?
- Yes, chief, and we are not invalids.
Apparently, if a person has no brain - he's disabled?
Yes.
- You see, the diagnosis is correct.

- Is she from a good family?
She's from a good restaurant.

- Take a red.
- It makes me look fat.
- As a tie can fully?
Apparently, when you are 120 kilograms live weight, full can everything!

Red? Or blue? ... Or red?
- Victor Petrovich, you are the groom or minesweeper?
Apparently, it's a first date, undermined is simpler than in a minefield.

- What's that?
- Goose!
Really? And I thought the camel.
- We had the Banquet today.
- What? He invited? Why me in the kitchen live goose?
- But the supplier said that you asked for the fresh.

- What's that?
- Chicken in mint marinade with artichokes.
- Leva, we have guests today from India!
- Well, Yes...
Are you serious Hindu beef?
- What's that?
- And if you get the Archangel Gabriel with artichokes!? What do you say!?
- That's blasphemy.
- Correctly. And today we have the Indians! And you have them for dinner, Holy cow!

Loved ones should not be squandered. Because in the end you can be alone.