Character: Alan Harper. Page 1

What happened, is she hot?
Every beauty in the world there's a guy that's tired of screwing her.

- The relationship should be built on trust and mutual respect.
- Grow up! Relationships are built on diamond earrings and viagra.

Done deal - body wash.

- Where's your money?
- Good question.. You know how poker looks easy on TV when you see all the cards.
Yes.
- So in reality everything is different.

Besides you there are other people, and they all live their lives.
- Right. Hate them.

- You know how we call fans to pozloslovit?
- Relatives?

- You know, I read here the other day: a married man lives on average 10 years longer bachelors.
And if he doesn't want to?

- ... success is measured not only by machines.
- Well, Yes. There are more yachts, swimming pools..

- I think she is very nice.
- Me too. When will she be back?
- So, today is Sunday, so... never.

I tried to communicate with him. He says one thing and does another.
- He's 10! The brain of a Hummingbird.
- What to do when he doesn't listen?
- To punish, to take away the computer, TV, toys.
- You already took it all. Do I have to take his asthma inhaler?!

- It is necessary to bring the trash cans in the house.
- Take out the trash, not today.
- Not here, Judith.
- Judith?! Alan, she's kicked you out.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't need me.
- It does matter.
- Well, we're still married, the house while my wife is counting on me in some areas. Which is good, because it creates opportunity for reconciliation.
- Okay. I wonder how spineless can raise the tank?

At this age they are all cute. Talk to you in a few years when it'll be in full pressure, pregnant and wearing "a month without alcohol".

The Holy Trinity Valentine's day - alcohol, sonnets, garden.

- Just because nothing tucks. You live in dreams. Money does not fall from the sky!
- You never sat in the first row, when the stripper was upside down on the pole.