TV series: 2.5 / Two and a half men (Two and a Half Men). Page 4

- If you have someone who cleans the house and who goes shopping, and is the one with whom you can have fun, the only reason for which you need a wife to get rid of half of the property.

- I told you about my daughter.
- You have a daughter?
- Even three.
Three? Wow... it is Time to learn to say "no".
( - I told you about the daughter told?
- You have a daughter?
- Three.
Three, wow.. Reliability always goes sideways.)

- The clothes look like an idiot.
- You ten. Nobody cares.

At this age they are all cute. Talk to you in a few years when it'll be in full pressure, pregnant and wearing "a month without alcohol".

The Holy Trinity Valentine's day - alcohol, sonnets, garden.

- You may think that I'm dumb, but you overestimate me!

- Jake, I'll tell you a secret. The hottest girls are always the loneliest because guys are afraid of them even talk.

- Just because nothing tucks. You live in dreams. Money does not fall from the sky!
- You never sat in the first row, when the stripper was upside down on the pole.

- Are you sure you're okay?
- Yes, back to my hotel room and write a status on Facebook: "not Yet dead".

Hi, it's me. You know, I just jumped into the ocean, because you can't live without you. No, I'm not out of the ocean calling.

- Is everything okay?
- Yes, all right, I'm just going to drown.
- How did you want to kill yourself?
- Yes, but I had no idea what water that cold. I suppose I would wear a wetsuit, but who would drown in a wetsuit?

- Sure you don't want to drink?
- Not when I'm depressed, alcohol only gets worse.
Yeah, the trick is to drink this time... It's not a sprint it's a marathon.

Just remember, when it comes to care, Charlie's like a dog playing the piano: you can not blame him because he played a few notes wrong... Just applaud the effort and hope he doesn't piss on all the keys.

- Yeah.. pregnancy - this sort of thing: that she is affectionate and loving, then...
- Cruel, vindictive, and castrating?
Well, I wanted to say "naughty"...
- Well, still ahead.