TV series: American family (Modern Family)

I hope you will not think it rude, but you are a beautiful woman and easily find a new man...
- Javier, the body's not even cold!
- The body is upstairs watching basketball.

I can't believe it again they say, and only in the seventh year of marriage, but, please, put the gun down.

- I play a new game called "Every time I'm depressed, I'm drunk".
- This game already exists, and is called alcoholism.

- You know what's really sad?
What?
- The Ending Of "Titanic."

Where I come from, men love women like this: wife, mistress, dog. The dog is always at the bottom.

I just coffee. Black. Like a hole in my soul.

- Photosynthesis converts carbon dioxide into food for plants. And the heater turns cold water into hot.
- What will make this conversation in silence?

Funny thing about getting older: year after year, all desperately afraid to be weird in any case. And then suddenly, often at night, everyone starts to want to be different.

First you lose me in the supermarket, now leave in an abandoned garage. Can you put me on the sign that says "free kid"?

I'll clean the kitchen like a crime scene, and that it is, because you murdered joy.

Wow, where did you learn this?
- Where you met the sailor suit?
- Fair.

Some things can not forget, Jay! Do you know what menstruation is? I know!

You lied to me and my soul!

You have to make the cake of humiliation, filled with great regret.