Book: Men who hate women and the women who love these men. Page 3

I always caution their wards not to take radical decisions in the hot heat. Their judgment perechislyayut vskolyhnuvshego emotions. If a woman is not exposed to physical danger, now is not the time impulsive to run to a lawyer or to leave the house.

It's very possible that your partner considers your strengths and skills gaps. Your mind is a "smart-ass" or "knowing better", it can ironically call you "smart-ass" and say "normal men do not like clever women." Your professionalism, or success may be called "ego-careerism", "upsellusa", "ruthlessness", "walking on others bones", "demonstration of coolness", "parametria".

You choose how to behave. Once you have chosen it, it is not automaticity, not inertia. We recognize, plan, control act.

It would be like to teach a bull to sing. No good and Angers the bull.

Often when I ask students to give characteristics to the partner, I get the response "he is a laborer" "he takes good care of the family," "he's funny" "he spends a lot of time with children", "he's charming, he's beautiful." There is no dispute that these features attract. However they are the Foundation of a good relationship.
Good relationships are based on mutual respect and a relatively equal balance of power. These include caring about each other and considerate to the needs and feelings of partners and understanding the things that make partners special. It is clear that within this ideal there is a place for arguments, bad moods, differences of opinion, sometimes even anger. However, loving partners find active ways to cope with these differences they see in each collision the battle, in which you can win or fail.
In other words - a good relationship should enrich and expand your life, not narrow it down, forcing you to abandon what is part of you and your character. We come into this relationship because we are attracted to qualities that we see in our partners. However, if we require that we have abandoned the best in us, to keep peace in the house, then it is wrong.

With age, people become more conservative and less inclined to change. Taking the situation, you waive your right to respectful treatment, which we all deserve.

Perhaps you've learned to accept things as they are, however, long-term inaction is a dangerous thing. It involves a full serenity in your life.

However, the relationship was impossible to maintain the uncertainty. The situation will change, even if we are not doing anything, because ultimately we don't control all the variables affecting the relationship.

Relationship in which one partner can Express hostility, one not based on a radical imbalance of power. However, a woman who believes that in this relationship she is powerless party, is not aware of the real situation. In fact, she has MORE power than the partner, because IT DEPENDS MORE FROM HER THAN SHE FROM HIM. She just doesn't get it. His need for support, his fear to be abandoned, the need for constant control, jealous possessiveness and a distorted view of reality make it a colossus with feet of clay. No matter how strong he may seem, he FEELS power only if it dominates and controls the partner. It gives him a sense of safety and security, but also compels you to choose a very rigid pattern of behavior.

Some women Express their anger that they fall into inaction. For example, they can forget about all the small tasks that are important for partner to become more difficult in making the smallest decisions become the annoying habit of being late everywhere. Many women keep or even turn off their sexuality, which is a powerful expression of anger. They can become cold and distant, immersed in angry silence and dryness.
But direct or indirect, all these ways to Express your anger look pathetic compared to the continuous violent attacks misogyny.

What would have restrained the woman, as if she had not processed his anger at the suffering, the reaction to the brutality of the partner cannot be hidden to the end. It can result in very different, sometimes very subtle forms of hostility.
The woman in the relationship misogyny can use the hidden attacks and hidden sneer, to revenge and to vent some of her anger. <...> Hostile comments become partner additional justification for brutal treatment of her.

The atmosphere in the parental home was made up of incredible stress in combination with elements of love, kindness, adoration. The result was a terrible mess of emotions. So Jackie got that drama is an essential part of love. <...>
This drama can be successfully masked, like any other addiction, is destructive and infantile side of the relationship. Chaos keeps the participants in a state of such emotional turmoil that they are not able to reasonably assess the situation. Often both partners are so depleted and exhausted by the wars, I can't even think.
The children of these dramatic homes often grow up with the notion that stress is an integral part of love. Therefore, girls from such families grow up drama perfect partner for a charismatic, explosive misogyny. They are used to confrontation, stress, drama, and consider them "normal". They consider a sharp transition from despair to joy, from love to hatred, from violence to violent sex proof of love.

"Once my father said something that I began to cry. And immediately he started making fun of me. He portrayed me cry, and said, "Look at this ugly creature. I didn't see it". He told me that I'm disgusting and that I should stop the waterworks".
In result, Jackie suffered in her adult life the feeling of loneliness and isolation in stressful situations. Instead of the solace, she learned to blame themselves, which further exacerbated her pain. <...> Jackie trapped in a model of self-punishment in moments of heartache. She was intercepted from father's baton. She became his most bitter enemy.
One of the most devastating consequences in adult life of Jackie was that she at any cost avoid any painful decisions or confrontations. However, adults need to make some choices, for example, reviewing or ending a painful relationship that necessarily involves emotional pain. If you avoid these elections, the pain is compounded by self-blame and samookupaniya.

When Jackie came out from the table in tears after father wished her to choke, she drew attention to his behavior. Everything began to behave as if the villain was Jackie, she's behaved badly. Cruelty Nata has never been questioned. So Jackie was not allowed not only to Express their anger when his father was hurting her, but just even to oyknut.
When children are not allowed to Express their pain, they get one of the most important, destructive of existing plants: IF THEY are BAD, IT's because OF THEIR OWN SHORTCOMINGS. It is usually added to another: IF THEY NEED COMFORT, SO THEY're UGLY AND DISGUSTING TO EVERYONE else.