Book: Mata Hari. Spy

That is what I was looking for all my life - freedom. I didn't need love, but love came and went and for her sake I did what in any case was not supposed to do, and walked right into the traps I placed.

I looked at couples and acutely aware of his helplessness: so many men, I visited the arms and here I was all alone, and no one is around, just to hold my hand. To tell you the truth, I rejected a lot of offers, for the first marriage completely repulsed me hunting to family life and experience marriage again is not going: what is the point to suffer for someone who doesn't deserve my pain, and finish the same as now - to sell her body, but only for a much smaller fee for the imaginary warmth of the hearth.

I long ago got rid of the illusions and hopes that someone will love me for who I am, and now, together with a tribute of admiration and flowers quietly took the money - it was payment for my ability to pretend. I was sure of finishing my days, never knowing the love, but does it matter? Love and power become indistinguishable for me.

I was unable to cry. The stones were slapelis in the water, maybe at the bottom they will fold and recreate the Margaretha Zelle. But I didn't want to be that again, the woman who looked into the eyes of the wife of Andreas and clearly read there that our fate is figured out to the smallest details: we must be born, go to College, get a husband to associate with him life even though he is the worst person on earth, if only people decided that no one wants, we do not need, - to bear him children, grow old and spend the rest of his days on a chair at home, staring at passers-by, pretending not to be if we are all in this life to understand and know, and not being able to silence the heart that says: "You could at least try to live that way."

... I want to kill not because of some stupid accusations of espionage, but because I dared to go for his dream, and the dream always comes at a price. By this time the strip have existed since the end of last century was even permitted by law, but remained only a demonstration of the flesh. I turned this gross spectacle in the art. When it again banned, I quietly continued to dance, because it had nothing to do with those vulgar creatures that stripped for public consumption.

I didn't ask the heavens of happiness, I dreamed of being only a little less unfortunate and miserable than they were so far.

... love is primarily an act of faith to another and another person, whose face should always be hidden from us by a veil of mystery. Every moment should be felt and experience, and if you try to understand his hidden meaning, to comprehend the mind - a magic spell will dissipate. We follow the ways of love - the Lightbringer or painful - climb the highest peaks or down into the bottomless depths of the seas, but they believe in the guiding hand of us. And if you don't allow yourself to be scared, you'll Wake up in a shining Palace; if we are afraid to take those steps that requires us to love, if you want it to be revealed and openly, the result will not achieve anything.

When over brings a memory, is able to upset an old wound, suddenly opened and all the rest, and now the soul is bleeding, so much so that one can only fall to my knees and sob.

... eccentric is one who searches for the lost youth between the legs of women ten years younger than himself.

What kind of Paradise where never happens anything noteworthy? I wasn't looking for happiness, and what the French call "la vrai vie" - full of life. With its unspeakable beauty and moments of black despair, with her loyalty and betrayal, with its fears and sense of peace and security.

Now you're in heaven, just don't get it. Of course, it's a bit boring, but he and Paradise. And again you are looking for adventure. Do not think for insolence, but humans are terribly ungrateful creature, and always dissatisfied with his share.

... the purpose of the artist is to get beyond itself and its possibilities. Anyone who wants small and affordable, will not succeed in life.

For that to become a major power in the world, you have to pay a high price. Here England - the Empire on which the sun never set, but ask anyone what city he would prefer to visit London or Paris? No doubt, he will choose the city on both banks of the Seine with its cathedrals, trendy shops, theatres, artists, musicians, and for those who are more brave - with its cabarets and kafeshantany, known worldwide for the "Folies bergère", "Moulin Rouge", "Lido".

... I'm a Nightingale who sacrificed everything and this lost.