Character: Theodore

My heart was beating, longing for warmth and love, and it was unbearable to keep it silent.

For so many years I have always fallen asleep alone. I knew that it could not and should not be otherwise. Loneliness was my only companion. A beautiful girl or a stately woman, or an ancient old woman - she quietly walked beside me, wrapped in a dark blue veil, and did not let go of my hand. And yet… My heart was beating, longing for warmth and love, and it was unbearable to keep it silent.

I feel lighter, calmer and freer in his presence. What is this if not magic?

The world was about to fall apart, burn to the ground in the fire of human hatred. And I... I was lying in some Belgian village unknown to me on bare ground next to a German soldier and a British doctor. The unknown lay ahead. I lay there and realized that, it seems, I am where I should be. Thoughts turned to Lawrence and Yoka, to all those articles that I have already written and what I will write again. Everything I have seen and will see again. Everything unforgettable and passing, big and small, disgusting and beautiful. Something secret, inaccessible stirred in me while I looked at the sky. Its boundlessness and the absence of any boundaries were awe-inspiring and at the same time inspiring. The second wind opened the realization that I can do so much... So much to tell. Inside, a candle that had gone out was lit and a desire to move forward appeared. The desire to create now felt stronger than before.

Hope this helps in the treatment of my time.