Character: Oscar Madison. Page 1

I already beat you at two sports, but if you're bashing, Yes, there is such a word, I'm happy.
- I suspect you will choose the things for something like knitting.
- You mean cricket?
- No, definitely not.
- Guess who's not getting mittens for Christmas? I hope your arrogance will keep you warm.

I thought the point was in communion and unity, but it turned out that you just want to beat me, to feel superior. So you know, sir, you've woken the dragon! And you would know what that means, if you should see me at least one episode of "Game of thrones".
I don't need to watch the show to know that awakening of the dragon - bad!

- I can't take it anymore, he was bored at work, and now when we meet it will be everywhere. Guess I'll have to stop to treat it.
- Oh no, you can't, you'll break his heart.
I'm sure he has a cardiologist on speed dial.

- I'm sorry, but the numbness came from the joint and pace, so 36 hours gets to the heart.
- Ironically, despite all your calculations, you'll die, falling from this balcony.
- You may not care, but Dr. McManus took an oath and I am sure she won't mind a quick inspection.
- Felix, I think you're overreacting and I don't have my tools.
- I have my own.

- What are you afraid of doctors or what they will find?
- They won't find anything, they will push you around me for diet and a sedentary lifestyle, and for that I have you.

- Oscar, when was the last time you saw a doctor?
- Look, it's Thursday, right? So in 1998.

- So, now I am your bride?
I had to blow her off or she would have jumped on me in front of Olivia. Thank you for not giving me up.
- No, thank you for advertising my jewelry on your radio show.
- You're blackmailing me. I'm impressed.

- Brother Oscar will tell you how I've changed. Felix 2:0 says "bro."
- So I have to wear a suit and tell them how good you are? I was hoping to wait until your funeral.

- Another one?
They hid throughout the apartment as alcoholic. I found one in the closet for my vodka.

- Maybe she just does not fit.
What?
I'm just saying that some things cannot be controlled.
I don't think so.
Why?
Because if to trust to fate, there is no guarantee that she won't leave me alone forever.

- Love is impossible, it cannot be scheduled, it just happens.
So she should sit at home and hope that someone will pass by?
- No need to try, there are many options to improve your chances.

- Felix, you can't control the romance.
- It does not control, is the creation of a love algorithm to compare the data, weight categories and to determine the long-term potential.

- Alan? The parasite is living in your basement?
Hey, many famous people started in the basement.
No, many famous people started in the garage. But many serial killers began in the basement.

- It is necessary nothing.
- What do you need?
- Food and drinks. And more ice, cake, decorations, gifts, music and guests.
I mean, you did everything but just.