Character: Oscar Madison

- I see it all the time intervenes. This is what I said.
Says that I'm interfering and that after all the times I helped him, although he didn't even ask!

- I want to say that they would prefer to live with someone like Teddy, instead of me?
- Well, you chose not to.
Is there?
- Felix, you just showed up and stayed.

- Well, well, look who came back after trying to drown problems in alcohol.
- I know the answer: we.
But they do not drown, because the problems know how to swim.
- Freeze them in a block of ice.
And hear the ice in viscaria!

- Kicked me out Diane.
- When women kicked husbands, after they give the card to my apartment?

- I don't know what I was thinking. I am such a fool!
No, you just wanted to end the pain. If it was possible, but it will not work. You had your heart broken and it will take time.

Oscar, I sent Aizen a copy of your speech and didn't like it
What? Yes there is one sycophancy!
That's the problem. Well you rivals, he needs the irony, the subring.
He needs to get irony? For example, "hair leave his stupid head"?
- Yes, and then he'll answer his jokes.
- About that "Oscar's face made for radio"?

- Despite the fact that I don't want to say good about this clown, it turned out great. There are only a couple of comments.
- Go ahead.
- See, here, when we say, "rich Eisen is a good man who does good things".
Yeah.
- You can remove the word "good"?
- You want to be: "rich Eisen is the man who does things"?
Yeah, that's better. ... So, I call Aizen rich, in his speech, and we are sure that no one calls a "schmuck"?

- I thought you were avoiding the "Langfords"?
Why? Because Emily works there and she dumped me? Yeah, I didn't really see Emily after the break up, and I avoided the "Langfords", I also walked the stairs instead of the Elevator and put on a mustache and takes to pass through the lobby.
- That was you?! Damn, and I thought johnny Depp was seen...

- It pisses you off, right?
- Are you talking about?
- What made you the person who appeals to the judge "Your honor."
- Okay, - don't pick on Oscar. Sometimes it happens.
- This phrase does not love any man.

- Take me, coach, I will not fail!
- Do you even have a MITT?
- ... I have a potholder.

I had a bad dream or did you say that he was born hairy?
- It's called "lanugo". For Halloween, my mom dressed as Dorothy and carried me around in a wicker basket.

- My neck hurts. Serves me right for what I was trying to prove that I am one of you.
What are you talking about?
- I see you communicate with friends. I would like to be part of this. As you are friends, busting my balls...
- Chase the balls! And even if you're not, you got your own jokes. You cook, do the crossword puzzle in ink, you play a great guitar...
- Cello!
- Cello. If I could, I think I would have tried to impress guys in a silly softball?
- Oscar, you admire me?
- I'm glad you're not afraid to be an intelligent oddball. No offense. I'm just kidding.

- My neck hurts. Serves me right for what I was trying to prove that I am one of you.
What are you talking about?
- I see you communicate with friends. I would like to be part of this. As you are friends, busting my balls...
- Chase the balls! And even if you're not, you got your own jokes. You cook, do the crossword puzzle in ink, you play a great guitar...
- Cello!
- Cello. If I could, I think I would have tried to impress guys in a silly softball?
- Oscar, you admire me?
- I'm glad you're not afraid to be an intelligent oddball. No offense. I'm just kidding.

Go ahead.
- Yes, let's do it in Greek.
- I'm asking you to go ahead when they say such things.