Character: Felix Unger. Page 2

- And now, you know what? The poppy seeds. Elusive devils. I'll get the tweezers.
You know, people falling from balconies.
- With an enviable regularity.

You know, I always thought I would write a book that will change people's views on sport, as "the Man who changed everything" or "Favorite". But instead I'm writing a book about the guy with two talents: catching balls and not catching chlamydia. <...>
- I take pictures of the burgers. You know in College I wanted to be Annie Leibovitz or Richard Avedon, to remove his human disguise, and now I'm doing pretty fast food, so Americans fat. I am not an artist, I'm a merchant of death.

- Oscar, you could have killed someone!
- Yes, but decided to do it!

Now I'm working on is, although my true love is portraits, or as I call them: "the mirror of the soul". Any portrait will show what kind of person, but playing with colors, light and shadow, I will show you who this man is.

- Not everyone wants to share the horrible details of his life.
Really? On "Facebook," have you heard?

You were the second person in a week who told me that I am impossible to live with. So if I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, I need someone who will teach me to be easier.

Is my ex-husband Brandon.
- I see you like strong and beautiful?
It turned out that Brandon, too.

I know one doctor in Fifty-eighth street.
- Dr. Marshall?
- Oh, God, you go to him, too?
Are you kidding me? This nose was a sponsor of his summer house.

I'm sorry, is this bothering you? I would have played your favorite, but it's hard to play porn on a cello.

In other words, I'm getting on your nerves.
Not others, these are perfect.

Oscar, welcome! Great news, I managed to save a ficus on the balcony, unfortunately, the same cannot be said about something growing on the bottom of the Laundry basket. Now, take off your shoes, grab Slippers from a basket for shoes and my hands. Not to say that we will have, but the dirty fingers do not belong there.
I have a Laundry basket?..

- I had to help you get through the pain.
- What pain? After the divorce, I gave myself a two-day drunk. I woke up with pimply cellophane. The stripper had to get me out, the bubble beyond the bubble.

I know divorce is awful, but with time will become better, trust me.
- Is it better?
- Gabi when she left, she took the housekeeper.
- Are you sure? It seems, under that bunch of things moving.

You're right, I need to gather strength and survive this temporary separation.
- A temporary separation?! You went to a psychologist for eight years, and last year there were only you.