Character: Lina. Page 2

Before sunrise is the moment when the whole sky becomes so pale, almost colorless... It's not quite gray and not white, I always liked him, because when looking at it, believe that will be something good.

I have become a true master in this case: say one thing - think about something else; pretend to listen, but actually no; playing calm and happiness, and she going crazy with anger and irritation. This talent of those that improved with age.

I'm scared and have fun at the same time... a feeling that all-seeing eye, which I'm sure, always watching me, for a split second blind. Or, for example, you used all his life to hold someone's hand, and she suddenly disappeared and you're free to go where he wants.

Everyone you trust, everyone you think you can rely on in the end betray you. When people have their own lives, they begin to lie, to be secretive, then change and disappear. Someone for a new face or personality, someone sad in the morning mist, behind a rock on the ocean.

... if the meaning of your life is to just go with the flow, it is not life. I know that the whole point - and the only - to find what is most important to you, and hold it in himself, and fight for it, and don't let anyone you have it away.

Strange how life works - you're waiting for something, and you think that the waiting is taking forever, and when desired comes, all you want is to crawl quietly back to the time when the changes haven't even started yet.

If you hear that the past starts talking to you, feel how it pulls you back, stroking your fingers on the back, the best thing you can do is run.

I love myself, and that feeling is deeply mutual.

I think we all needed spells, the stories we tell ourselves. They help to move forward, to live on.

Grief - is when you have nothing left. It's like you are buried, you look like you are drowning in the murky yellow-brown water. With each breath in the throat is filled with dirty slush. There's nothing to grab, no chance to escape to the surface. No point in fighting. It is necessary to leave everything as it is. Do you feel pressure from all sides, your lungs are compressed. You do not resist and go deeper and deeper. There is nothing, only the bottom. Only the taste of iron, echoes of the past and the days that seem to be a solid night.

Push away thoughts about my nightmare,
Pushing thoughts of Alex,
Push away thoughts about Hannah and high school
Push
Push
Push
The old life is dead.
But the old Lena is dead too.
I pohronie her.
I left it behind the fence
behind the wall of smoke and flame.

But the fact is that during running there is always this split second when the pain tears me up when I can hardly breathe and all I see is spots of color - and in this split second of pain, she cleans me. I notice something on the left, a flash of color (Auburn hair, a crown of burning leaves) and I know that if you turn your head, you'll see him around, laughing, watching me, holding out his hands out to me.
Of course I don't turn my head to look.
But one day I will.
One day, I'll do it, and he will return and all will be well.
Until then, I run.

But I have a secret. You can build walls up to heaven - I'll find a way to fly them. You can nail me to the ground hundreds of thousands of hands - I'll find a way to escape. And we will, a lot - more than you think. People who continue to believe. People who refuse to go down. People who live and love in a world where there are no walls. People who love, even if there is no hope, love to hate, to death, and without fear.

Love: a simple word, easy as smoke, not wider and not longer than the tip of the needle. Yes, the tip, blade, razor. It pierces the middle of your life, your world, cleaving them into two parts: before and after.
"Before" and "after" and "during" - the second wider and longer than the tip of the needle.