Character: Shrek

- What are you, Shrek? This is choral singing. Here it is necessary to sing chorus.
Well, not really.
- Please! For the sake of our friendship!
- Since when our friendship made me do things I don't want to?

Fiona, wait! Kiss me!
What?!
Otherwise you comrades not to save!
- Let me pass!
And once you believe that all problems can be solved with a kiss.
[kiss]
- I do not understand. Something doesn't add up... true love's Kiss was supposed to fix it!
- Yes, I said the same thing. Only from that tower I don't love you pulled, and I myself! I saved myself! Do you still not understand? It's all fiction, stories!
Fiona, don't say that! It's all true!
- And how would you know?! You grew up under the castle in dragon's lair? He lived alone in this nightmarish tower? You cried myself to sleep every night because your true love has not appeared?
- But... I... Your true love...
- Then where have you been when I needed?..

- So where is this fire-breathing animal?
Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her.
- I meant the dragon, Shrek.

- Remove dead girl from the table! The dead girl has no place here!
- Where are we to put it? The bed's already occupied.

- Fu, Shrek, did you succumb?! Hey, at least you warn before you podstolice! My mouth was open and everything!
- Believe me, donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead!

- Wait a minute. Where are we going? Out - there!
- I need to save another animal.

- Hey, Princess!
- It talks?!
Yeah. Nothing to back it up.

- Felicia!
- Hi, daddy!
- Nice you brought that little butterball! Farkle, you have sharp teeth! Fergus, my dear!
- Dad, dad, dad!
- Learn to choose the moment to attack!
Ah, how quickly they grow! And the first trophy - the tuft of hair!
- Farkle and his dug into my ankle!
- And how is Fergus?
- Not yet.
- Oh, nothing, sweetheart. Mom also no one is scared.
To be afraid no need, my love. The night has just begun.

A stack of freshly made waffles in the woods. Isn't that a little suspicious?

- Just tell her exactly what you told me: you're her husband and you came from an alternate reality.
- And can I even tell her that you're married to a fire-breathing dragon? And you have little cracolici mutants?

They judge me before they find out. That's why I'm better off alone.

And what day should I give?
I don't know. Any day from your past, when you had a cold. Or lost a dog... Or when some asshole stuck his nose where it is not necessary and tore you a deal of a lifetime!!!.. [Breaks plate]
- ?
- Well I was wrong, for example.

- What's the rush?
- Anywhere.
Oh, I'm going there too.

I don't appreciate all is not yet lost...