TV series: The odd couple (The Odd Couple) (2015). Page 1

- My neck hurts. Serves me right for what I was trying to prove that I am one of you.
What are you talking about?
- I see you communicate with friends. I would like to be part of this. As you are friends, busting my balls...
- Chase the balls! And even if you're not, you got your own jokes. You cook, do the crossword puzzle in ink, you play a great guitar...
- Cello!
- Cello. If I could, I think I would have tried to impress guys in a silly softball?
- Oscar, you admire me?
- I'm glad you're not afraid to be an intelligent oddball. No offense. I'm just kidding.

- By the way, my name is Murph.
- Seriously!? We met twenty times already! Yesterday we had the exact same conversation!
- ?..
- I Roy.

Go ahead.
- Yes, let's do it in Greek.
- I'm asking you to go ahead when they say such things.

We both pick five sports. Classic decathlon.
- I agree.
- Agreed. Decathlon at dawn!
- At dawn?
- Yes, you're right. Decathlon at a reasonable time!

I already beat you at two sports, but if you're bashing, Yes, there is such a word, I'm happy.
- I suspect you will choose the things for something like knitting.
- You mean cricket?
- No, definitely not.
- Guess who's not getting mittens for Christmas? I hope your arrogance will keep you warm.

I thought the point was in communion and unity, but it turned out that you just want to beat me, to feel superior. So you know, sir, you've woken the dragon! And you would know what that means, if you should see me at least one episode of "Game of thrones".
I don't need to watch the show to know that awakening of the dragon - bad!

- I can't take it anymore, he was bored at work, and now when we meet it will be everywhere. Guess I'll have to stop to treat it.
- Oh no, you can't, you'll break his heart.
I'm sure he has a cardiologist on speed dial.

- I'm sorry, but the numbness came from the joint and pace, so 36 hours gets to the heart.
- Ironically, despite all your calculations, you'll die, falling from this balcony.
- You may not care, but Dr. McManus took an oath and I am sure she won't mind a quick inspection.
- Felix, I think you're overreacting and I don't have my tools.
- I have my own.

- What are you afraid of doctors or what they will find?
- They won't find anything, they will push you around me for diet and a sedentary lifestyle, and for that I have you.

- Felix, how do you know all this?
- Oh, it's a hobby. Someone knits, I read medical journals... and knit.

- Oscar, when was the last time you saw a doctor?
- Look, it's Thursday, right? So in 1998.

Oh, I wonder who opens the door? Downloaded assistant which gathers you a chair or a pretty Princess boss that will not take your ass?

Wow, old Felix, think about the clouds of microbes, lurking on the tips of his fingers.
- I'm not gonna lie, the new Felix wondering about this too. But life is short. Probably even shorter.

- So, now I am your bride?
I had to blow her off or she would have jumped on me in front of Olivia. Thank you for not giving me up.
- No, thank you for advertising my jewelry on your radio show.
- You're blackmailing me. I'm impressed.