SelfPub: - We Need to Break Up

- We need to break up. From the very beginning, what was happening between us resembled an act of forgetting, as if we were trying so much to forget in each other's arms. But we both understand that this is the wrong love. Illusion, the desire to be needed by at least someone, the desire to love anyone, such as you.
After Nikki's words, everything went into place: both the girl's nervousness and her desire to be as far away from me as possible. The phrases sounded monstrously accusatory, they penetrated like sharp nails inside, leaving only hats on the surface. But at the same time, I was grateful to the girl for finding the strength and saying everything as it is, instead of continuing this strange and not very pleasant dance of misunderstanding for both of us.
- Are you sure? Maybe... - I paused, wondering what role Max played in this. - Have you been thinking about this all this time?
- Yes... I'm sorry... - Nikki swallowed nervously, but continued to endure my gaze steadfastly. - I weighed, evaluated and realized that it is wrong to continue to torment you and yourself.
- Is it me? - It was important for me to know, rather instructively, what was the impetus for the breakup - myself or something over which I am not subject.
- No, you have absolutely nothing to do with it. It sounds very hackneyed, but you are really very nice, good, kind and helpful, but...
Her words took my breath away, and mentally I added: "You're a very cool guy, but you're only a friend to me."
- But... - Nikki hushed up, not knowing what else to add. What was happening was not easy for her, so I hurried to the rescue:
"But you don't have feelings for me that would help us create a lasting union," it sounded somewhat theatrical, but that's the first thing that came to my mind. After all, all productions are taken entirely or partially from life.
Besides, I didn't want to break up badly, Nikki was there for me in serious moments for me, so she just didn't deserve me to splash out my discontent and bitterness from the breakup on her. We are adults and understand that you will not be forcibly cute. And to hold another through blackmail or some other extortion is low, stupid and selfish.
"Jeffrey, I'm guilty that...--Nikki began, but I interrupted her.
- You're completely innocent. At that point, we both wanted what we got. Now, after thinking, you realized that you need to turn in the other direction. I get it. And I accept, no matter what I think and feel about it. Because seeing you all on your nerves is much worse than accepting the fact of separation at a time. I can handcuff you to the battery and persuade you to stay with me, but will we be happier?