TV show: Iron Kaput

Shmulke! Silly Zusuls, stop senseless resistance and surrender! [Shmulke translates phrases into Zusul] We offer you favorable conditions for a truce: hot tea, warm clothes and our hospitality! [Shmulke translates phrases into Zusul, the Zusuls seem to agree] Okay! [ takes the mouthpiece from Shmulke] Agunda-haya, agunda-haya to all! [the zusuls get furious and start throwing fruit at the major, a watermelon hits his head and he turns off]

- [drops a grenade on the floor] Oh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

- Smolke, you know that I received my first iron cross?
- No.
For that I saved the whole regiment from certain death.
- How, sir?
- I shot the regimental cooks, Smolke. (pulls out a Luger pistol)

- Smolka you know the difference between a real soldier of the First Reichsrat from sausages?
- No.
- The fact that a real soldier is always ready, and sausage are still cooking it!

- Put the guard?
- Do not! Just close the hatch with the key, and throw in a grenade suslow, so, for prevention [moments later] Smolka, what are you doing?
- Trying to throw a grenade.
Fool, this is my personal grenade! I gave her sir General! Give it here and don't touch my hands! [puts it in his pocket breeches]
- Sir, permission to speak!
- What's the matter?!
- So, I should not have pulled the pin?

Wait! Who is this!? [presses a major wrench to the wall]
- Smolka, are you crazy?! It's me, your favorite commander!
- [removes a wrench from the neck] to Blame, sir, you look unusual today. I've never seen you without orders.
- [looks at his uniform] Yes, once I forgot to remove them with pajamas!

- The first question: what to do during a gas attack?
To save sir major!
- Who said that?
- I am, sir, major!
- Well done, my boy! A step forward!

Remember, shoes should be cleaned in the evening and in the morning put on a fresh mind.

- Why is boots not been cleaned!?
- (both look at each other and watching the toes of his boots. Says Jankel) You are not affected.
- What!? Why do you have boots not been cleaned!?! I'm asking...
- Shoe Polish over, sir major!
And I don't care!
- I was saying.

The soldiers of the First Reichsrat must have a cold mind, warm heart and steel muscles to just one of his powerful, trained body to terrify their enemies!

- Smolka, report a combat situation!
- According to my information, sir, we triumphantly depart, and suzuli randomly running after us!
- Very well, Smolke, periscope!

That's it! And remember (puts on monocle): the head of the soldier to think, and brains to figure out. Smolka you see what idiots I have to work.

- Still or it is unclear?! Jankel, how many fingers on the hand of a soldier? Irancell, how many fingers on the foot soldier? No peeking! Ask a leading question: how many hands this soldier?
- That knocks the bastard.
- Smolka, six periscopes for everyone!

- What is?
- Yes, sir, major!
- That's right, fifteen tons, in fact! But in fact it's a booby awesome! If we include on it a toggle switch, then after three seconds it will lose one hundred percent of its weight! Moreover, it will become lighter than air... Attention! (mine crashes out of the hatch of the tank) yeah, then the wind it blows in the direction of the camp Suslov stupid. It is again gaining his weight and falls on the heads of the enemy, and then you realize what is happening. Okay?
- Sir, question?
- Go Ahead, Smolke.
- And if the wind will not?
- [takes off the wall statement About it in the manual nothing is written... (Mina begins to fall back)