Book: When the rain is over

I couldn't leave, you know? Until the last second was sitting in the train and thought I'd never forgive myself if we leave without saying goodbye.
I love you, Dylan.
- Know and always knew.
- Promise me you won't leave me. Promise me?
- Never!

- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me? Do you really want to know? The Gulf between us. You have no answers to all my questions. This, of course, purely my problem, and you probably don't care, just I loved you and you left as soon as the rain stopped. - Here I wept bitter tears.
- Been in love? - he was calm. He kept his hands in the pockets of jeans and without the slightest hint of excitement looked straight into my eyes. The rain poured harder.
- Yes, loved. Don't tell me you didn't know?
- Been in love? - he repeated again.
- So you work out? - I got more than ever.
- You said you loved me. In the past tense. And now?
- Ahhh! You're a fucking moron. I hate you! - turned around and went home. Before he had left about a hundred meters.
- I did it for us. Decided for the two of us. Can you imagine a year apart? Permanent distrust and jealousy. You would have exhausted yourself, and me too. I was thinking about you Ellie in the first place. I think I like to be a jerk and hurt you? I think I did not attempt to dial your number? But I knew that would make you feel worse.
- How would you know what's best for me? You left me no choice. Year apart are better than a year without you.
- Then tell me that you love me?
- Now it is irrelevant.

I don't enjoy it.
- He does not have to like you. It is enough that I like him.
- I'll be too rude if I say that this guy will break your heart.
- Even if it is...

- I will remain - he broke the silence.
What? the smile never left my face.
- I just decided to stay here for the summer.
- Is it me?
- No, it's because of the lack of Internet in the house and one store in the entire city.
- Just because of me... I hugged him.

- You're 18 years old, the main task of your life at this stage is to do everything to annoy mother. Protest is the best weapon in this war. Learn to medium, though not a fool, you just don't see the point in trying. Girls in school crazy about you, you talk to the one and the other make eyes, friends you have a lot, but a faithful and devoted friend no. You don't have dreams, not on what is not working, take only what is good, and clearly believe that because of your cute face you all have.

Yesterday when I got an anonymous tip and found out you were getting married, I understand, you know? Realized that you're the only one I need. No one and nothing. All these 14 years, I lied to myself. Women!!! Money!!! Career!!! Screw everything. Only want to be with you, period.