Santa Claus [Theme] Page 2

- It may seem funny, but Santa Claus is not a joke!
- No? Jarvis, can you give us a short course on the physics of Santa? And easier.
- With pleasure. For simplicity, assume that the Earth's two billion children. According to statistics, on average, in one house - three and one-half of the child, so Santa needs to visit five hundred seventy one million houses in a single day, or over thirty-one hours given the time zones and rotation of the Earth. For this you will need to visit five thousand one hundred sixteen houses per second at a speed of six and a half kilometers per second. Further, the amount of the gift...
- That's enough Jarvis. The point is that this is impossible. I knew it as a child.

So. In addition to Santa's no magic in a red suit and I in the house will not tolerate, do you understand?

- So you're Santa Claus?
- Yes, but... not quite the Santa Claus.
- Do you have flying reindeer, you live at the North Pole, you have it all... so you Santa Claus.
- Yes, but between the legendary Santa Claus and your humble servant there is a difference. Because almost everything you've heard about Santa Claus are myths or fabrications. For example, the little elves, who bustle around and help Santa Claus. This invention of the nineteenth century. And what they say about my money, creepy! And you know, when I'm laughing, I'm not shaking like a jelly on a plate. Do I look like jelly?

A long time ago, in a far away land, there lived a cruel and sneaky ruler. And one Christmas, this cruel and sneaky ruler threw a feast for kings and Queens. And here is one beggar beggar entered the kitchen and decided to Rob food.
The bum grabbed. The cruel ruler was stingy. He told me to throw the bum on the street, in the frosty night.
But the cruel by the ruler did not know that this was no ordinary hobo. This man was a powerful wizard. And he put a curse on the evil ruler.
Obeying the curse, the master disappeared, but had to appear every year a week before Christmas. This week he had to give up part of their treasure, and to awaken in people the joy and fun.
You can imagine the cruel ruler had to give, and to give all the time to give... Until things get weird. He noticed that the joy he gave others, gradually and imperceptibly began to acquire his own. Been a long time, and he liked it. Of curse it gradually turned into a blessing.
The heart of the cruel ruler was filled with joy. And then began the amazing event. For example, as soon as he noticed that his bag with gold and gifts will soon be empty, he suddenly filled again. Such was the power of the curse.
It's a curse passed from generation to generation, from father to son and from my father passed to me. So I became Santa Claus.

In the existence of Santa Claus do not believe even those who have already managed to visit them.

Oh... I didn't want to become famous for his cruelty, I wanted to be famous, catching Santa Claus!

- I want a grenade!
- And I want to wince, but where do you see undone pants?
- What is wince?
- It's kind of a compromise. In short, Santa does not sell guns, so it's not me.

What do you want?
- A cow that Moos, but not farts, and duct tape to build a ship.
What?!

When I was small I believed in Santa Claus. If it is absolutely Frank to be, I believed in him, as my body almost completely rejects vigils, which the Pope, with a gift stalking to the tree I caught at the scene only by the age of twelve. Now I feel as if I caught Santa Claus when I was trying to steal from the bag. You can only imagine: I was sitting two steps away from the natural elf and even if you want could poke a stick at him, he was and a real "vsamdelishny".

- What kind of person would steal Santa's sleigh?
- Very talented.

I'm not just a fabulous character in bright clothes, laughing people, you know? I'm a symbol, a symbol that people can overcome selfishness and hostility that often prevail in our lives. If you don't believe, can't take anything for granted, your life will overshadow the doubt.

I calculated all the times you were bad and took into account all the times you were good.
- Yes? And what comes out?
- Not very good at it, Eric, is not very nice.
- Yes, but Santa Claus still bring gifts?
- Actually, I did that this year, you have Santa 306 presents.

- I ride on the sled and realize children's dreams.
- You mean like the noble thief?
- Yes, Yes, Yes. Something like this. And is starts with "Sa".
"Sa"? Satan?

Santa needs to give gifts, and not to select them.