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Helmut wanted to fall into his wife's arms and wrap themselves in them, as if they could protect him from the horror of what was happening. I wanted to look at the drawings of my son, who should have been sent to school next year. You can, of course, wait another year, but it’s too painful for the kid to grow up smart. This was his world. Forbidden for every "wicked". A world that had to be carefully hidden and protected for many years. But this desire gave rise to new bitter thoughts: “Why did I put someone else's interests above my own? Why so zealously pursued not their goals? Did you follow orders? Is this my choice? My life?"