Author of quotes: Isin Nisio

It wasn't a sumptuous emotion like jealousy, admiration, or the desire to become the same. It was a sense of inferiority. It was an annoying level of despair in my own self. It was a depressing level of self-disappointment.

You are guilty that you are you, this is your crime, but this is also your punishment.

You can't even imagine how I'm overwhelmed by everything. Life, the people around me, the people around me, all these different intentions that make up this world, and all the ones that it doesn't make up of, you, Mikoko-chan, and, in fact, myself. It's all just a fucking headache. If there's anyone disgusted by something, so be it. Life brings only pain. I don't see any value in that.

A banal loser, or a comical henchman, could not do this.

Let individuality choke on itself.

I know what sadness is, but for some reason it doesn't find it on me.

- Oh, this is a taboo question. If you ask it, then that's it, the end. I mean ... that everyone is like that, right?

"And why would I do something so pointless?" “… A phrase referring to the kind of thing that I don’t have the courage to say.

... After all, those who so easily and freely express their happiness and contentment can just as easily and freely express their discontent and anger.

She was so straightforward in her emotions that I almost envied her.

I wasn't kidding or anything, but nothing good would have happened if I tried to convince her by saying something like, “No, really. My memory is like zero, so it is mostly empty. I am a waste. Sometimes I forget my name. I forget - it's okay, but sometimes I remember it wrong. Well, in this case my memory is not zero, it is negative. When I was in elementary school, I signed the test with the name of the girl next to me, and then answered all the wrong questions, which gave her zero, that's how stupid I am. " I felt it was better to sound like a joker than a fool, so I just said maybe.

The thought that I cannot trust these people, that no matter how hard I try, I cannot truly think of them as my friends, makes me feel like a trash person. They showed me so much love, I can't give them anything in return.

For example, I have a friend who is devoid of almost all basic human emotions. She's always terribly happy, always having fun no matter what she does, but only because she just doesn't know any more emotions. And as a result, she can hardly understand why other people are sad or angry.
There is only one way in which it is able to perceive the world. In principle, it is not able to distinguish the true paradise from the paradise of the lost.
- And I'm the same. No, I'm much worse. I am not able to understand someone else's pain, even in the smallest way. Why? Because I myself cannot adequately perceive my own feeling of "pain" and "suffering." Thoughts of death don't bother me at all. Not that I want to die, but my desire to resist death is abnormally weak. And all this leads to what I voiced. There are many "blocks" that prevent people from killing each other. One of the most vital is thoughts like, "Oooh, it's probably hurting" or "Buddy, I feel sorry for this guy." Isn't it? That's right. For example, I'm sure you've ever felt the urge to hurt someone before, right? But you probably didn't immediately knock the crap out of it and so on, right?
- Mm. I've never beaten anyone before.
- But I bet you wanted that, right?
She didn't respond. And that was the best confirmation that she was able to give. But it's not a crime. No one can live their lives without ever experiencing dislike for someone, even if they live in paradise.
- I think I'm actually talking about the ability to experience empathy.
You understand the feelings of the other person, you feel mercy for him and act mercifully. And, of course, that's not always a good thing. Jealousy and anger also grow out of empathy. Understanding other people's emotions. This is both a virtue and a disadvantage.
" But let's not get into philosophical arguments about losses and gains, - I continued. - The bottom line is that I do not have all these "blocks". I, in principle, do not enter into other people's emotions. As a result, I have to restrain myself. And it's incredibly excruciating. It's not even funny. But, by some miracle, I manage to restrain my own demons.
It's a bit audacious to keep living, hiding such a monster inside of you.
- I-kun...
- Now I can reach my limit at any time. And so I can't forgive the killer. How can I do this? The very existence of the killers is disgusting. Disgusting. I hate all the killers with all my heart. With all the strength of the soul. I think I'd like to crush them all.
- ...
"Just kidding, I don't think so at all," I said.

- But, you know what, it doesn't really matter if you live long or not. I'm not particularly sure that there's much point in living two or three hundred years. I've lived nineteen years and two months to this day, but honestly, I've had enough.
- Are you tired of all this?
- No, I can't stand it anymore. So far, I guess I'm still fine, but if that continues... yes, another couple or three years and my ability to perceive reality will reach the limit.