Author of quotes: Erich Fromm. Page 1

A mother's love for a growing child, love that wants nothing for itself, is perhaps the most difficult form of love attainable, and the most deceiving because of the ease with which a mother can love her baby. But precisely because it is difficult, a woman can become a truly loving mother only if she can love at all; if she is able to love her husband, other children, strangers, all people. A woman who is unable to love in this sense may be an affectionate mother while the child is small, but she cannot be a loving mother whose job it is to be ready to endure the separation of the child - and even after separation continue to love him.

The need for transcendence is one of the basic needs of man, rooted in his self-consciousness. He is not satisfied with his role in the created world, he cannot perceive himself as a dice, randomly thrown from the cup. He needs to feel like a creator, to go beyond the passive role of the created being. There are many ways to achieve satisfaction with creation; the most natural and easiest way to achieve is maternal care and love for her creation. She goes beyond herself in the child, her love for him gives meaning and meaning to her own life. (In the very inability of a man to satisfy his need for transcendence through the birth of children lies his passionate need to go beyond himself in the creations of his hands and ideas.)

Unconditional love makes up for one of the deepest angodils not only of the child, but of every human being; on the other hand, to be loved because of your own merits, because you yourself have earned love - this is always associated with doubts: what if I do not like the person from whom I want love? And what if it's - there's always a danger that love might disappear. Further, "deserved" love always leaves a bitter feeling that you are not loved by yourself, that you are loved only because you are pleasant, that you are ultimately not loved at all, but used.

The forms that the individual chooses in non-orgiastic culture are alcoholism and drug addiction. In contrast to those who engage in socially approved action, such individuals suffer from feelings of guilt and remorse. Although they try to escape separation by taking refuge in alcohol and drugs, they feel even more lonely after the orgiastic experience is over, and the need to return to their refuge as often and as intensely as possible increases. The sexual orgiastic solution to the problem is not much different from this refuge. In a sense, it is a natural and normal form of overcoming separation and a partial response to the problem of isolation. But for many individuals, whose separation cannot be overcome in other ways, the source of sexual satisfaction acquires a function that makes it not too distinguishable from alcoholism and drug addiction. It becomes a desperate attempt to escape the anxiety generated by separation and, as a result, leads to an even greater sense of separation, for a sexual act without love can never bridge the gap that separates two human beings. Except for a brief moment.

It seems that after an orgiastic experience, a person can part with suffering for a while, which largely stems from his separation. Gradually, the anxiety tension rises again and again decreases due to the repeated performance of the ritual.

In a trance state of exaltation, the external world disappears, and with it the feeling of separation from it.

At all times, in all cultures, a person is faced with the same question: how to overcome separation, how to achieve unity, how to go beyond his own individual life and find unity.

After a man and a woman began to become aware of themselves and each other, they realized their separateness and their difference due to their belonging to different genders. But as soon as they realized their separation, they became strangers to each other, because they had not yet learned to love each other (which is quite understandable, at least from the fact that Adam defended himself by accusing Eve, instead of trying to protect her). Realizing human separateness without reuniting in love is a source of shame and at the same time it is a source of guilt and anxiety. Thus, the deepest human need is the need to overcome his separation, to leave the prison of his loneliness.

most people seek romantic love, a personal experience of love that should then lead to marriage. This new understanding of the freedom of love was to greatly increase the meaning of the object to the detriment of the meaning of the function.

Obviously, for most people in our culture, the ability to arouse love is, in fact, a combination of cuteness and sexual attractiveness.

Is love an art? If so, it requires knowledge and effort. Or maybe love is a pleasant feeling, to experience which is a matter of chance, something that falls to a person in case of luck. This little book is based on the first premise, although most people today undoubtedly proceed from the second.

Neither the most beautiful nor the most disgusting aspirations of man are inherent in him biologically, by nature; they are the result of a social process.

To be is to give expression to all the inclinations, talents and gifts that each of us is endowed with. It means to overcome the narrow framework of one's own "I", to develop and renew oneself and at the same time to show interest and love for others, the desire not to take, but to give.

Respect for the uniqueness, cultivation of the uniqueness of each person is the most valuable achievement of human culture.