Book: Eve's Three Daughters. Page 2

She perceived the misfortunes that occurred with others as her own; they hung around her neck like a necklace of pine needles.

How strange life is, she thought. Over the years, memories fade, hearts grow stale, promises turn into deceptions, beliefs lose their meaning. And photography, this two-dimensional image of reality, remains unchanged. As unchanging as a lie that you still want to believe in.

Denise was silent, but her gaze was clearly distrustful. For the first time in her life, it occurred to her that her mother, who gave her life, took care of her day after day, satisfying all her needs and whims, once, before the birth of children, she was a completely different person. Until that day, Denise's mother was a terra cognita, where every grove, every hillock and every lake was known to her. The thought that there might be unknown places on this earth disturbed and irritated her.

Both compensated for the lack of love with an excess of hatred.

As for Selma, she was enraged by literally everything in Mensur's appearance and manners: the condescending disdain that shone in his gaze, the authoritarianism of his tone, the proud fold that lay at his mouth. It's amazing how arrogant all these atheists are. With what ease they reject centuries-old traditions, how overwhelming is their conceit, which allows them to put themselves above society. How can they consider themselves enlightened people when they know so little, if anything, about the culture and faith of their own people?

With her good hand, she touched her daughter's shoulder as lightly as if the girl were a crystal vessel. A vessel filled to the brim with anger and irritation. Until recently, they were infinitely close, even invented their own secret signs, understandable only to them. It was hard to believe that now next to her is the same girl who used to laugh to tears at her simple jokes and grabbed her mother by the hand when cartoon characters got into a dangerous situation. That sweet girl has irrevocably disappeared, leaving in her place a gloomy and gloomy stranger. This transformation - there is no other way to put it - caught Peri by surprise, although she read a bunch of articles about how puberty in modern adolescents, especially girls, comes earlier and earlier. She always hoped that her relationship with her daughter would be closer and more trusting than her relationship with her own mother. After all, isn't this what we strive for all our lives: to become better than our parents, giving our children the opportunity to become better than us. But as a result, we often find that, unwittingly, we repeat the mistakes of the previous generation. Peri knew that anger often masks fear.

Is it impossible to find a name for something that does not belong to the categories of faith and disbelief and is equally alien to both pure religion and pure reason? Are there only two ways, and there is no third one suitable for people like me? But what about those who are not satisfied with the choice of only two possibilities? I'm sure there are a lot of people who share my feelings. They all, like me, need a different language. A language that includes concepts that did not exist before...

How strange, the past bursts into our lives exactly at the moment when something breaks its usual flow. Vague memories, repressed fears, carefully concealed secrets and guilt are excruciating and domineering. The world around seems to recede into the shadows, turning into a blurred scenery. So she, suddenly renounced everything else, not noticing the pain and feeling only boundless peace, now remembered what she thought she had managed to forget forever.

"I know you think a lot about God," Sensur said thoughtfully. - Alas, I can't answer all your questions. Believe me, no one in the world can do this, including your mother and her crazy preacher. - Mensur took one sip of the crayfish that remained at the bottom of the glass. - I'm not a big hunter of religion and its ardent adherents. But God makes me sympathetic. You know why? - (Peri shook her head.) - Because He is alone, my soul. As lonely as I am... How are you doing... He has no one to talk to except maybe a few angels, but can you have fun with the cherubs? Billions of people pray to Him: "Send me victory, send me money, send me a red Ferrari, send me a don't know what." Day and night He is bombarded with requests, but no one gives himself the trouble to know Him. - Mensur spun a glass in his fingers, sadness glowed again in his eyes. - Remember how people who witnessed an accident on the road react? The first thing they say is, "Save Allah!" They think of themselves, not the victims. All human prayers are similar to one another. "Lord, save me, protect me, support me..." This is called piety, and in my opinion it is pure selfishness.

Peri argued with Him about everything, asked questions to which it would certainly be difficult for Him to find an answer. It is very unfair of Him to send misfortunes to people who do not deserve them, Peri said. Does he not hear and see what is happening behind the prison walls? If not, then it is in vain that they call Him omnipotent and omnipresent. And if He sees and hears everything and at the same time does not come to the aid of those in need, then it is in vain that they call Him merciful. In any case, He is not what people think He is. In other words, He is a deceiver.