Book: Stranger

In twenty-three years easier to endure a massacre than a public spanking at sixteen. Wounded pride causes the big meal, and at that age especially.

Give me a hundred kisses,
Again, give a thousand and again a hundred...

He was on top of me, knees legs apart and I felt that give in - not even him but myself. Twenty-seven years of good education lost ground to the millennial instinct. The mind rebelled against that possessed me on the bare rock, close to the sleeping soldiers, and the body put up with it and, moreover, answered the call.

- It will disappear someday, Claire? The desire disappear?
My head fell back on his shoulder.
I don't know, Jamie. Really don't know.

- I have never been close to a woman... but I have hugged a few. - He smiled sheepishly and shook his head. - It wasn't the same. I mean, that kept women in an embrace and kissing them and...
He waved his hand, discarding is the last "and".
- It was nice, really nice. Her heart was beating, and the breath has become frequent, and all that. But it wasn't like that with you, when I hug and kiss you.
His eyes are the color of lakes and skies, I thought, and they are bottomless.
He reached out his hand and touched my bottom lip, touching the edge.
- Starts the same, but after a moment, he continued softly - after a moment, it seems to me that holding live fire.
He pressed harder, circling my lips and stroking his chin.
And I want only to throw myself into this fire and burn.

- These birds inhabit the souls of young mothers dead in childbirth, ' he said, turning towards me. - I say they scream and run around the nest, because I don't believe that the babies hatch safely. They grieve about someone you lost - looking for a child orphaned.
- I think it's just tradition, ' he said. Habit. I first made when I was much younger, after I heard this story. Actually I don't believe they have a soul, but, you know, like something out of a sense of respect...
Without finishing the sentence, he looked at me and suddenly smiled.
- I used to do it, I didn't even notice. In Scotland very few Plovers...
He got up and threw the twig.
- Went on. There's a place that I want to show you. Over there, at the top of the hill.
He took my elbow and helped me up off the ground. We began to climb the slope.
I heard what he said to Plover when he let her go. And although I knew very little Gaelic words, it's an old greeting I heard often enough to understand it. "The Lord be with thee, mother" - said Jamie.
A young mother died during childbirth. And the child who was left an orphan. I touched Jamie's sleeve, and he turned towards me.
- How old were you? - I asked.
- Eight, - he said. - Not a baby.
More he said nothing and led me higher up the hill.

I struggled with this for some time now. Before our comic wedding, I realize that it appeals to me. This has happened to me before, as it happens with almost every one of us. Sudden sensitivity to the presence, the appearance of a man - or woman. Watching him, satisfied with the "inadvertent" meetings, to see how he does his job, while experiencing the special feeling looking at moving under the shirt shoulders on the protruding bone of the wrist or to the place under the chin, where it begins to grow a beard.

He leaned over and pressed her lips to my lips. I had to kiss men, especially during the war when the flirting and constant novels were frivolous companions of death and uncertainty of the future. With Jamie it was different. Its exceptional tenderness no small me was not dictated by experience; rather it was the manifestation of the power conscious, but limiting yourself; challenge and encouragement are all the more remarkable that they did not was requirements.
I'm yours, like she said. And if you think I am, so...
I took my lips parted to meet his lips, Yes, I took all my heart and calling, and awakening.

He continued in the same recitative to list plants and animals from the Islands, and I sat and listened to his recitation and thought about how strange it all is: here I sit on the stone a Scottish body of water, heed Gaelic love song, and on my knees I have a large dead fish. And the strange fact that all this gives me genuine joy.

- It was as you imagined? with curiosity I asked.
'Almost,' he suddenly giggled me in my ear. - But I thought... no, nothing.
- No, tell me! What did you think?
- I will not say you will laugh at me.
- I promise not to laugh. Tell me!
He smoothed down my hair, removing the curls from the ear.
- Okay. I didn't know that this can be done face to face. I thought you have to turn your back on me... well, you know, like horses...
A promise to keep was very difficult, but I laughed.
- I know it sounds silly, ' said Jamie in his defense. Just... well, you probably know that if in youth that sit on the head so hard.

- This is one reason. And there are others that you could I say?
He began to carefully study his glass.
Probably just because I want to sleep with you - he looked quickly at me. Have you thought about this?
If he wanted to embarrass me, then it succeeded, but I decided not to show it.
- Is it true? - boldly, I asked?
- To be honest, Yes, it is true, ' he answered, and the blue eyes looked at me over his glasses.
- This does not have to marry me, - I said.
Jamie was shocked at this statement.
- Do you think that I would have to do it, not suggesting you marry me?
- Many men don't bother, ' I said, amused by his naivety.
In obvious embarrassment he muttered something unintelligible, but then got together and said with full of dignity
- Maybe I'm overconfident in saying so, but I prefer to think that I am not "many men", and does not consider it necessary to behave in accordance with the lowest public denominator.
I was touched by his words and hastened to assure that you find his behavior a highly respectable and gentlemanly, and I apologize for unintentionally doubts about his motives.

"Under my protection..." It was not just a phrase - it was worth to watch Jamie, on a hard turn of his broad shoulders, should remember his wild grace, when he showed me in the moonlight the techniques of sword fighting. he knew what he was saying. Very young, he had a right so to speak, and his scars proved it right. He was no older than many of the pilots and Marines, for whom I had to care in the hospital, and just as they, he knew the value of responsibility. He gave me not a romantic vow and a lasting commitment to protect my safety at the cost of his own.

I know, Claire, that there are things that you don't want to talk to me. Probably can't even talk about them.
"If you only knew how right you are", I thought.
- I'm never going to force you or insist to know about the things concerning you, - seriously said as he looked at his hands and clenched his hands. - There are things that I can't tell you, at least not yet. Not asking you about what you can't give me. I ask only one thing: let it be the truth that you will find it necessary to tell me. And I promise you the same thing. Between us now there's nothing but respect likely. And I think respect gives the place a secret, but not lies. Do you agree?
- Yes, I agree. I promise to be honest.

You are blood of my blood and bone of my bone,
I give my body to you, that we two become one
And my soul I give you collateral for the rest of my days.