Book: How to grow a boy into a man. Page 1

Shame and humiliation are the strongest and hardest to tolerate feelings for boys because they are so complex. These feelings affect self-esteem, self-image, representation of others. Any mother wants to protect the child from this, but it's not so simple. If you are not extremely careful, you can increase the humiliation of the boy by trying to fight for him when he is old enough to stand up for himself.

It is equally harmful to tell a child that he is gifted and that he is untalented.

I'm always very wary of the labels of academic failure in elementary school students. In many cases, these boys just need time to mature.

Helping those in need builds self-esteem and teaches selflessness.

I want to tell you: if you want your boy to grow into a man, confident in himself and in his life, teach him to fight for those who need his help.

We became so afraid of offending anyone that we deprived our sons of the ability to defend themselves and, worse, to protect those who need it.

An important part of self-esteem is the ability to protect yourself and your beliefs.

When boys play video games and act impulsively, they receive messages and imitate actions, but do not get to the point of thinking about deeper problems.

Bruno Bettelheim wrote a lot about the fact that boys need to read fairy tales about "bad" and "good" guys, about the struggle of good and evil. This helps them to resolve their own internal conflict of the clash of good and bad.

Games and fairy tales affect the imagination of the child and allow you to release hidden fears and anxieties.

There are many studies that support the devastating effects of violent games or movies on boys. It is known that boys, who constantly see violence on the screens, become more and more aggressive.

Everyone who knows men at least a little knows that a man at any age needs to compete and win all the time, physically or mentally. In any case, the boy is so arranged - he needs to feel control over the situation, over people, but most of all he needs to protect what he thinks is right. Many moms won't like it because women are wired differently. Of course, many of us are not obsessed with assertiveness, we rush into battle for those we love. But in my experience, boys are more prone to confrontation than their sisters.

Many mothers shield their sons from household chores. They think that boys are better off spending their free time in sports and other extracurricular activities necessary to get into a good college, or just enjoyable. I understand this desire - to help the child achieve a long-term goal, but the mother should remember: an interest in life or improving her son's skills is nothing if he does not learn labor discipline, point work is different from sports and other activities focused on the personality of the child. Work teaches us to persist in achieving results simply because it has to be done. If a child spends time in the afternoon picking leaves, they are not doing it to get praise or to improve their skills. He does this for the good of the family and is proud of his help and the responsibility entrusted to him.

A boy who has no responsibility can behave like a spoiled, spoiled bully. In fact, the reason for his behavior is dissatisfaction and loneliness. He wants to feel important and needed in his own family.