TV show: Stand Up. Page 4

All languages are at the level of sounds. The Chinese, for example, do not know how to pronounce the letter "r" at all. Now everyone in the audience is bursting: "We are a lost homeland!" Yes, that is right!"

Mikhail Skipsky, a fairly famous player of the program "What? Where is? This summer, his former student accused him of sexually harassing her while in school when she was fifteen years old. You know what was done to him? He continues to star in the program "What? Where is? When?" on the "First channel", for a second! I think such game is possible only in our country. Take a recent example, Johnny Depp. He was accused of domestic violence and will no longer star in the sequel to Fantastic Beasts. Here, this Marat Basharov, poor, my crash, has already admitted that he beat these poor wives and still starred in the program, where fantastic creatures are looking for people in the trunks. No problem with this in humans!

If you suspect that the girl is offended, you need to immediately apologize, even if you are not sure. In advance, all this is killed, as with cleaning an apartment. Then it's easier to burn and move.

*** ac! Maybe that's enough, Kolya?

Now in Moscow I rent housing, there are many different breadings and there is such breading as "eurodvushka". Who does not know what it is, "eurodvushka" is odnushka. And I didn't know that, the realtor tells me, you want to see. And I'm like, "Sounds European, I'll see!" I came, looked at one room, went out and didn't see the other room. I think, ***, Europeans are hiding a room! I ask the realtor where the second room is. She's like, "What's the second?" And how many rooms do you have in a two-bedroom apartment? She's like, "One!" and what's the two-piece? She replies to me: "You did not understand, there is a large kitchen, you can put a sofa." I think: it turns out, five sofa - five-room will be, right?

I now have money. I like it so much, especially the cash feeling. One, two, three, four, five ... Mower, bitch, like me! I can see directly on your faces: tell me, how much money do you have? Let's do it this way. Now I can't go to a car dealership and immediately buy a cool sports car, but I can immediately buy a down jacket. Long!

We appreciate beauty in women, but we also appreciate our sense of humor. There is no such thing that we want to meet with the sad. "I want a sad one, so that I can drink clean water all the time!" So that if I smile , it means a stroke.

Do you know the proverb "A friend is known in trouble"? I think it's time to redo it. In modern realities, it should sound like - a friend is known in joy. Because in trouble, we learned to help each other, okay, God is with him. And you know why? Well, he's worse than me. In trouble, we know what to do.

I have a complicated relationship with my children, I have never even held children in my arms in my life. I generally think about raising children only when I find myself on the food court, when they are worn.

him! Even street musicians are different. In St. Petersburg, street musicians are always one goner with a guitar, upset, like his whole family, because he does not work for a profession. In Moscow, street musicians are just a team! They make money. They have equipment, tools. They, bitch, are connected to the ground ... They have a plate, the card number of Sberbank, Tinkoff, Rosselkhozbank. The drunk always dances in front of them, exclusively in a jacket, because he is at a concert.

Moscow and St. Petersburg are very different. St. Petersburg is still going to "change the situation". Because I want to change something. But they go to Moscow because: "We need to change something, Sanya, you are a moron! Weighing people on the street is no longer profitable!"

mallets, it all makes no sense. Do you know how to understand why these items are not needed? There are no tutors for them. For example, if your child has three in math, you hire a tutor. If your child has three in work, it is unlikely that there will be such a situation that a man in a mustache comes, walks with your child, closes the door that they did in the last lesson and closes.

I suffered from covid. I have sixty percent defeat in my family relationships. They shut down everyone, shut down families, without even finding out how they are doing there, although most Russian families keep on the fact that one of them goes somewhere constantly.

Women during a quarrel carry such crap in your face, which just a herd of buffaloes in depression can drive. They throw all sorts of crap that they have in their heads, without thinking about anything. And sometimes she realizes that she is already driving, grumbles, tries to swim out and generally drowns. So, first of all, I didn't say 'fuck it up', I said, wouldn't you. It's a suggestion. You could refuse, but you keep going because you're an unbalanced schizophrenic." And in the eyes it is written: "Give me bream, I will not stop myself, you see!"