the proximity [Theme] Page 4

Moments of happiness are short, there are long. They do not want to scream and jump, they penetrate deep into the soul and overwhelm it. The experience of happiness does not tire us out or drain us, as happens with delight or ecstasy, but gives strength. This condition is especially
powerful and bright in those moments when you suddenly painfully clearly realize that everything is finite: this evening will pass, this intimacy, the music will be silent, the guests will go home, everything will pass, including life itself. And for me, the feeling of immense happiness is akin to being on the border between light and shadow, when the light seems especially dazzling, and you can turn your back on the shadow.

Maybe previous attempts to satisfy his sexual instinct were so unsuccessful that he hid in the depths of his subconscious and does not want to get out of there for anything. Knows: nothing good will be given to him. Or, on the contrary, a wonderful love happened in the past and ended, a repetition of this is impossible, and there is no desire to settle for less.

In prayer, fruit is first given, and then work is required. According to human reasoning, the sequence of the process is broken here. After all, in ordinary life first - work, and then - the fruit. And then first the fruit was eaten, then you need fruitless, dry work in the hope of obtaining a future fruit. It's a divine thing.
In the psalm, which is singed at the wedding, there are such words: "Bear down your fruits: blessed is he, and good will be to you." You will not eat the fruits of labor, but the labors of fruits. In other words, the fruit is given in advance, and then there will be labors, and you will be satisfied with the "labors of fruits." And this is not a mistake, and not a play on words, as many translators thought. Indeed, the fruits are given before labor. When people marry, they first eat sweets, and only then - bitter. What is this? Maybe all my life worked out those quickly eaten sweet fruits? No. This is different - so the spouses prepare for the gifts of the future. At the beginning of marriage, intimacy and joy are given, and then labor begins - to give birth, work, educate, endure, get sick, grieve. In the end, the spouses expect genuine fruits, much larger than the first.

We often make one mistake. We believe that it is enough to be nice and pleasant, to satisfy the needs of our sons and not to argue with them, then they will always be on good terms with us. But the opposite is often true. If the son does not respect his mother, then he will never trust her. If you always say yes to your son, do not encourage him to make wise decisions and readily fulfill all the requirements, then you will lose his respect and emotional closeness. Perhaps the sons' instinct tells them that such permissiveness is dangerous for them. They feel that licentiousness will not allow them to grow up to be strong people.

We try and try again.

A few seconds they stood silent, he was hugging her breath tickled his ear. Most people live a lifetime, never having felt so close, thought Marianne.

Shall net you the proximity is not sweet,
When we merge into the heart - not of the body?

Talk a lot - and he will be terrified, and all around; speak little, bit do not refuse to yourself in existence: "a" shows that it is in no way direct communication channel. If being alone is to determine what desire of proximity, then, this definition included the need to Express themselves and be heard, to share thoughts, experiences and feelings. Intimacy cannot exist if its members do not wish to be known, manifested. But assessment of the levels of this vicinity - a sly thing. Either communicate enough and left for other people hidden, or risk becoming an outcast, obragas too: small and large wounds, tedious obsession, abscesses and cataracts need, shame, and longing.

You know my son?
- So good that I wanted to hang for his murder.

The credibility of oil painting makes the viewer believe that he is very close to depicted on the foreground of the image objects (can literally touch them). If it shows the person such proximity implies a certain degree of intimacy.
However, the official portrait is intended, on the contrary, to stress the distance. That is why (and not because of lack of skill from the artist) person on the average portrait, painted in the traditional way, looked so constrained and motionless. This artificiality is rooted in the requirements of the image: the object needs to be seen both near and afar. You can draw an analogy with samples examined under a microscope. Here they are in front of us, we can study them, but you can't imagine the same way they treated us.

- A man many anxieties.
Is better, for he was not alone.
( - We worry about so much.
Together everything is easier.)

It is important that as long as Louise tried to deny their individuality and responsibility for one's own life, she could not establish a deep and meaningful relationship with others. When a man like Louise, is life on the other, it's impossible to achieve real intimacy. Intimacy requires the presence of at least two different people. When people can't separate themselves from the beloved, when he can't afford to differ from another, then the only possible parasitic relationship. With unconscious wisdom of Louise escaped such a marriage, in which she inevitably would subject the role of the wife, pulling a cart on itself, and the mother of the Martyr. Her professional life allows her to find those who would want to serve and help, but these people were so numerous and so quickly changed, that there was never a need to completely destroy their internal life - the outcome, which in other circumstances could be very likely. Thus, it naturally happened that when Louise began to assert themselves and their own individuality, she found that entering a more emotionally intimate relationship, a relationship in which her own internal sense played the same role as the wishes of others.

Fortunately, free of games of real human intimacy, which is or at least should be the highest form of human existence, brings such a huge reward that even a person with unstable equilibrium can without fear and without regret, to abandon games if they are lucky enough to meet such a close friend.

That's how life is, it's not often we fall moments of genuine intimacy, besides the human psyche can not withstand the huge stresses associated with some forms of intimacy, so for the most part, to live in society means to play the game. Therefore, games are necessary and desirable, the only question is whether as a result a sufficient reward. In this connection it should be recalled that the distinguishing feature of each game is its culmination, or payoff.