TV show: Stand Up. Page 6

Geography - it's a subject that never will need to you spontaneously. To blame: "And you had to learn!" What kind of clouds: Cirrus or Cumulus? Ah... Other items, Yes. Math. You have change, there's a hundred rubles, two hundred... don't know what the idiot had to learn! Physical education. Added step, get on the train swistel. Biology. Taught biology and you know that this hand, for example. Physics. "Flies will move away". Alive and healthy, everything is fine. Well, to piss yourself do you know the geography better than anyone! What? All your women? Win city! All your women, you will fight them under Cirrus clouds then! Think about 2018, Google-maps, you can fly where you want and you don't even have to know where it is. You just come to a travel Agency and say: "I want to go to Indonesia." And you will be sent. This is not what you will say: "Yes?.. Come on, show me where it is!"

I am a trained actress and I have about twenty roles in the movie. <...> I was in the women's series. Who does not know what it is, talk. There is one script for all series. Wrote earlier the real writers, but for now just a ass sit down at the keyboard, there are all very written. There is about an ordinary woman in an ordinary region, which all fooled. The Armenians, then Mavrodi... and which suddenly drops tycoon. Think about - with your buildings. They are called: "love is love", "Engagement ring", "Honey incest" or simply "Faith, Hope and Lydia."

I am from Taganrog and in Moscow ubludki refer to the "McDonald's". Who is not called, they're like, "okay... let's go..." With such a mood. I'm from a small town. We didn't have it for a long time. We are in each new building under construction, waiting for "McDonald's". We were like, "Even if, even if..." Even when the dome was built we were hoping: "if I could, though..." I Wanted this collaboration is the "big Mac" with ciorcila.

I hate Tinder because that generation of guys, which now meets there is not the slightest idea what took our generation of guys when we met in person. Because to meet people in person and online Dating is just a different event. <...> I am sorry, because, you know, how acquainted are we? It's true. You know what we did? We had an ad in the Ticker on the music channel. It's just the bottom! Above us the men from the newspaper ads were laughing! We wrote: "Three funny kid from the street asanalieva will get acquainted with three fun girls". Such requirements we had. So there were three of them and they were girls. It is doable, many have done it!

I love the "Instagram" so I very much was upset, when there were "Stories", because have you noticed that when "Instagram" appeared "Stories" we realized how many of the people we signed just fucking sick in the head? Have you noticed that the posts people even though a bit restrained, but here they decided that if after twenty four hours it disappears, then everything is possible! Seen these people who just thirty seconds looking at the camera? And nothing at all! Here the debility of the dog's ears... And nothing! You at least write some details, we will send you for treatment!

Most people have one goal in the gym - you sweat on your body, in order to attract a person better. But women and men are on a treadmill have different goals. A woman runs for success, for wealth not to Dating in "Burger king". But the man chasing the opportunity to fuck Hotties in Zhulebino on the floor without a mattress. Then treat it "Yandex. Food", because she was there, in his square backpack.

As I strain types in the gym, simple types that are not coaches, but still taught me how to do it. Touch me, damn it! I was doing squats, a guy came from behind, my butt cheeks grabbed and was like, "here, here! See how that worked out?" Of course, it worked! They cower in fear!

I read in one magazine article "Ten secrets of female sexuality". Right there immediately says: "Look at women purse, it will tell you a lot about her owner, because according to Freud women's handbag is the image of the vagina and in that sense shape, color and size matter." I thought, "How bold! For the magazine "Domashniy Ochag" to write the word "vagina"". Definitely not the reservoir? <...> I was hurt, because I, for example, no handbags, and never was. I have a backpack design! And Yes, I wear it on the back. And Yes, it is very roomy. Now all women have a big bag and I understand why. Because now we leave the house in the campaign: first, go to the subway, then to work, then to gym, then to the store, then back to the subway. So in my bag, a computer, charging, conditioning, shampoo, dreams, hopes, memories, frozen Pollock... Where me this to wear? But where, where... All according to Freud, guys!

We have to be realistic. To lose weight - you need to plow in the hall. But women want to lose weight easily, so you earn these guys who come up with "slimming Tea". Do you think it works? "Slimming tea" will work if the tea bag will weigh a hundred pounds and you will need to pomagati. If you go to a nutritionist, who drinks tea and offers it to you - it's like the surgeon who instead of anesthesia offers you a boring story, so you cakemail.

I have a question: why do we continue to fight? Because in five years of marriage, I have not won any argument. No! What a joke we continue to fight? I'm not a worthy opponent, obviously. I know there is a rule: "I Want to play better - play with the best." What are you cross with me? Go pick a fight in the registry, become better, grow!"

Ladies, gotta give you props - you are a great fight! The quarrel is direct your. The worst type of fight is when you don't know why you argued. When she got in a fight with you without you. You know this situation? When you enter the flat and the voltage is what it is, then you look, she's sitting watching the TV is off. You ask: "Honey, what happened?" And you answered: "Nothing!" She: "Oh, maybe you did explain it to me?" "If you don't understand - I'm not going to explain anything!"
Girls, we all need to explain. We are in always boys. I'm 33 years old.

Sometimes women ask for meaningless gifts, in my opinion. You ask the spirits. Ladies, why do you need perfume? You smell so wonderful! And yet you have such an abundance of aromas, perfumes, eprst! How do you choose? It is very difficult. I always give a clear name for the spirits of the article, because I can't choose. You come to this "L'etoile", choose a consultant that is less conscious. They're all there from this abundance of flavors. You go to construction in the paint, guys are a little bit on the album: "Come what to tell you, bro?"

In relationships you give flowers. When it's the wife, you come and ask: "You flowers or you will take the money?" Because in five years of marriage no one took the flowers, I assure you. Always the three in the envelope. And even when there is no envelope, it will say: "do not worry! Just give cash. If it's convenient to "BEAC" let down, whatever, no problem!"

Me is happy with life with my parents, but I am ashamed to talk about it to others. So when I someone asks, "Hey, Ilya, and are you single?" I always say, "no, there with me a couple. There's a man with a woman with her. Great guys, they're almost like family.