Book: The dialogue between therapist and patients in humanistic therapy. Page 3

I am responsible for what I say and do. If I'm trying to avoid responsibility, this leads to powerlessness and anger. I can use rules, laws, traditions, other people's opinions and anything that can help me make the decision, but only I myself can make a choice. When I'm too scared to be identified with their decisions, I slip away from them, and in this case I lose all sense of their identity and access their inner sense.

She was mindlessly'm sure there's a proper way to solve any case and that if there was such what should be, you would know this is the correct way. Therapy has helped Jennifer to realize that she will never reach this state; and in fact she should worry when she stops to suffer decisions.

For Jennifer's acceptance of responsibility was inextricably linked with the need to confess. If I explain my actions and responses as entirely due to another person, I find myself a slave or a robot, owned by this man. As always in such a situation, the meaning of the game is to prove the guilt of another person and his own helplessness. The root cause of this barren game is the relationship of two people who become opponents. This contest usually ends with the fact that each of the players feels the futility of their efforts, but mistakenly ascribes it to the resistance of the other, not understanding the true nature of the problem. If I win in this game, you no longer feel powerless and angry victim. If you lose, you feel anger and shame. In short, this is a situation in which it is impossible to win. Unfortunately, there remains too many couples.

This lady seemed to be giving me a mirror in which is reflected my own desire to constantly cover his tracks and be ready to explain any act anyone can ask a question. I've found that are in the mind detailed explanation of some minor mistakes- hitting the tires over the curb while Parking, it's too dry after answering a phone call, as if I was pushing. When I worked with Jennifer, I'm again and again amazed at how the constant concern with her own guilt creates a stream of self-criticism that it weakens almost to a catastrophic level - the structure of human life.

If I want to be truly alive and to know their opportunities in life, I have to accept the law that I am always responsible for what you do.

Wine means the denial of our subjective center ("It's your fault that I..."). Even when I blame myself ("I was selfish to forget about it..."), I actually attribute to a certain cause to its property ("selfishness"), instead of having to really take responsibility. Responsibility, by contrast, remains focused on the action and its outcome ("Yes, I did it by choice. I'm sorry that I hurt you. How can we work together to fix it?"). Thus, responsibility is directed forward; it says that we have the power to act and achieve the best results. In this sense, opportunity is the reverse side of responsibility.

Four important characteristic of what it means to live a full life.
I am alive only in the process of my being. I can't find their Genesis in what you do, what achieve, what titles I have, that others think and say about me. I truly exist only in moments of awareness, feelings, choices and actions. So I can't see my Genesis, because I have a vision and all I see cannot be me. I - vision, movement, awareness.
If I want real life, I have to realize the course of its existence, the fact that my center is my experience, and if I don't take life seriously, it eludes me. My inner feeling is the key to the realization of being.
Taking his life seriously, I open a lot in its existence, before too low-priced, but now can appreciate. Thus I can enrich your life. So, I will pay attention to their emotions - for all, including those who previously tried not to notice, for example, fear and anger, to their imagination, imagination and experiences, which attempted to exclude from his life, but which are part of any human story - disappointment and failure.
If I admit that my personality will be tied to objective things, I would be extremely vulnerable to external circumstances and accidents. Identity, based on what I did, how I perceive what others think about me is identity tied to the past. It can lead to stagnation and repetition in life. Only genuine procedural identity is living in the moment and are capable of change and evolution with the flow of my life.

Larry found nothing, which is inevitably present in the center of the experience of our existence. The key word here is "experienced" in the past tense. What was, no longer exists. Only in the process of understanding we Express our existence. Only when Larry left attempts to prove he exists, he gained the freedom to be. He never replaced anything his past identity; instead, he found that she did not need him if he really subjectively experiencing the moment. Alan watts the line perfectly sums up the experience Larry: “where he is expected to meet a truth about himself he found freedom, but took it simply for nothing.”

In fact, he was here because I overcame a huge split of their personal identity. On the one hand, he was confined to vedmosti, attributes and achievements. He was surrendered to chance and constantly trying to build a safe haven from the sand of their actions and their results. It seemed durable, because it rested on the fact that apparently tangible and inform. But the person, based on objectification, in fact the most vulnerable; however, this model of personality, Lawrence, like most of us learned in early childhood. On the other side of this huge watershed Lawrence has opened up the possibility of genuine freedom, the freedom to Express your being in any moment, not dragging the heavy, immobile shell of the past. Knowing who we are, we don't need to see ourselves because we have the vision; we don't rely on what he did, because we know that was the effect, but most are not. This person who is genuine in its deepest sense. And, as yet found Lawrence, it reduces our vulnerability to the vicissitudes of success and failure, approval and disapproval.

Only when faced with his fear of nothingness he was able to experience directly, not in words, the continuity of his being, intangible, but ever present I am that is afraid, persists and arises out of nothingness. It's just understanding, which is not easy to come by. No effort to "teach" this can't succeed. Only through the understanding of the death of his physical existence, man can ascend to the free air of life-process.

Inner feelings can scream, just as listening to or watching the inner life.

Extremely talented, he had a long series of achievements that he combined to reflect your personality. Until fate intervened, Lawrence felt that he did it; and then he crashed on the immateriality of matter, about the conventionality of the objective.

The most important lesson life has taught me is the essence of my existence consists in the subjective awareness, which is a continuous process. Finally I can't identify with any matter (for example, my body), nor with anything that I produce (my words in these pages) nor with any of my properties (my interest in others), nor my past, nor my future plans nor of my immediate thoughts, nor any other thing. In short, I'm not a thing, nothing. I - only the process of my being - for example, the process of writing these words, but I'm not content words or ideas they are expressing. I'm the one who understands the writing process, selects ways of expressing thoughts, hopes for understanding, enjoy the emergence of thoughts and images of their experiences.


Quote in English

Whenever a person comes to me, I'm trying to determine the degree of inner awareness - the extent to which it is understanding of the importance of inner hearing. I'm trying to detect effects that could block or limit this listening to his subjectivity, and push the patient to make every effort to restore or strengthen the role of inner feelings of life. This is the starting point for the most successful trips that I and my patients have made together. When we can really focus on inner awareness, everything else is random, and we understand that.