Book: The dialogue between therapist and patients in humanistic therapy. Page 1

Again I want to emphasize that this strange lack of ability to realize your own existence is not the exclusive characteristic of the "patients" intensive psychotherapy. I've discovered this in various groups, which led, people who have achieved success in business, technology, and professional career; the people, even at a stretch cannot be called neurotics, hippies or immature. I also found that their colleagues and friends when we cross social barriers and talk to each other on a deeper level. And, of course, I found it in himself.

None of those people that came to see me, didn't really like to revisit the fundamentals of their life, while these people, of course, attempted to revise their work or any other exterior areas of your life, if something didn't go the way they wanted. On the contrary, all of these people are standard, like myself, are accustomed not to trust their inner experience, avoid, and devalue it.

Each person develops a way of being in the world, which is a reasonable compromise between the way he understands himself and his own needs, and the way he understands the world with its opportunities and dangers. Unfortunately, the understanding of right and wrong develops in childhood, and in our culture the man given very little help to revise your children's worldview in adulthood. Thus, we develop ways of being, narrowing and restricting our lives. What we call intensive psychotherapy, in fact, has accelerated the educational process, are intended to reach maturity, delayed for twenty, thirty or more years of trying to live with the children's attitude to life.

I was never taught to listen to your inner feeling. On the contrary, I was taught to obey external - parents, teachers, scout leaders, professors, bosses, the government, psychologists, and science - from these sources I took the instructions as me to live my life. Those requirements, which went inside, I soon learned to consider as suspicious, selfish and irresponsible as sexy (a terrible possibility) or as disrespectful to the mother (if not worse). Internal motivation - and this seems to agree all the bosses are random, unreliable, subject to immediate strict control. Initially this monitoring shall be adults, but if I was the right person (there it is again), eventually I would be able himself to perform the functions of warden, like a parent, teacher or police are right here (as it is) in my head. So now, when I was trying to listen to myself, so many stations give signals at the same time that it is difficult to distinguish among them your own voice. I wouldn't even know that I have this voice, if thousands of hours that I spent listening to his patients, has not shown me clearly that it exists in each of us, and our task is to regain it's innate right inner voice, which was partially or completely suppressed. So I came to the conclusion that even I have this inner feeling that guides me inner knowledge.

I stopped trying to be right; I want to try to be yourself.

Change, endless change. The flames dance, take on fanciful forms changes again and again. We are afraid of fire, but we consist of it. We can't resist him; we can only meet him. When we finally surrender to him, we experience relief and bliss. To be truly alive means to be sentenced to continuous development, perpetual change. To be truly alive means to find their identity in this changing process, knowing that the fire would destroy any stable structure that we're trying to build. Wants and needs - fuel for the flame of life. We can exist without desires no more than fire can burn without fuel. If we want to live the fullest possible life, should be as complete as possible, know their desires and needs. We consist of flame, and his dance is the dance of our lives.

In each of us a smoldering flame that could ignite. We are constantly pursues lust for life. How much would any of us have been taught to reduce, distort and mangle our existence, something inside of us seeks to broaden the horizons, to provide a space for growth and development. We are afraid the price of this growth, we are afraid of those outdoor spaces that our eyes sometimes detects around; want to close their eyes to their own capabilities.

The river is never the same. It runs all the time, moving. The water in the river at any given point today is not like tomorrow. In addition, the river flows sometimes in sun, sometimes in shade; sometimes in town, sometimes in the woods. The essence of the river to change course.

Kate herself has described his stance when he said what's inside it like a stone. Kate Margate tried to deny their humanity, sought to become an ice statue, immobile stone instead of being soft, vulnerable, volatile creature of flesh and blood. She was afraid to learn about their variability, and has been making desperate moves to deny it. Especially Kate needed to avoid any emotional contact with people: she felt that it would lead to change. The most powerful influence that can change a person is love to another person.

We even expected that our emotions will be permanent. "A few minutes ago I was angry and yelled at you. Now I feel relieved and even warm feelings for you. What is wrong with me that makes me so changeable? Only surface feelings change so quickly." So common sense says, and he's dead wrong. Feelings are flowing and evolving. Their expression promotes the movement. If we do not understand this simple truth, we feel foolish and vulnerable, actually expressing perfectly normal. "Because I was angry a minute ago, better for me to stay mad at you, and then you'll think I don't pay attention to this or take revenge on me now that I'm not armed with my anger. I have to think of something to stay mad at you." Thus, relationships suffer, and accumulates bitterness.

External vision we see objects and matter, it tells us things about the world. Our inner vision is a vision of the processes flows. We are surprised when suddenly the demolition of the building at the corner of University and high street. Something lacking in familiar objective world. Similarly, we are surprised when part of our self-image which was familiar ("I'm a young man"), gives way to another ("I'm a middle-aged man"). We expect that will be the same even in those areas (such as age), which, as we all know logically, we change.

If I want to be fully alive, I must accept its limitations as well as their freedom. If I'm trying to know everything and do everything, I will be doomed to lose the understanding of what I can really handle. I can't know everything, do everything, live forever. I can only know much more than I know now, to do much more than do now, and live a full and rich life than it is now.

Under such strong pressure of the unconscious needs to believe in his divinity, he had no contact with their inner feeling. Thus, the Hole could not know themselves well enough to correctly hear the other. The only way that allowed Hal to understand his surroundings and to interact effectively with it, was a radical reduction of his world. So, he focused on external, on behaviour, on the surface. Denied the subjective sphere, hiding from its human limitations. He narrowed his world to the size that can be managed, but lost the ability to manage their emotions and relationships with people. Hall, like many of us, was convinced that ignorance is failure, lack of something, the opposite of knowledge. When it came to recognition of its limitations, I realized that ignorance is actually part of the learning experience. Only geniuses and idiots (strange parallel!) don't understand the limits of your knowledge. We are finite and mortal - are aware that they can't know everything and are forced to consider that there is always something that eludes consideration. As you accumulate more and more knowledge, we also gain awareness of their ignorance in many many areas. Hal still willingly to learn, but he threw a terrible burden attempts to first learn and then act. If we really knew enough, we would be able to trust all machines. As Jennifer discovered, people are required in those situations where decisions must be made without sufficient knowledge, most of the really important situations. Hola, it was necessary to deny its limitations. Limitations meant death and imperfection. He honestly tried to learn all about their professional field. Tried to be ready to help any who turn to him for advice. Tried to force myself to do my best. Have achieved outstanding success, but inwardly dying, that forced myself to do more than was humanly possible. He was beside himself with anger at his son, who has clearly demonstrated that it no longer considers Hola all-knowing and all-powerful. The opening Hole of his inner feelings and acceptance of its limitations freed him from the unbearable burden of responsibility and guilt. He allowed himself to become just a man - vulnerable, fallible creatures. Allowed himself to cry with rage, realizing their losses. And then Hal started to live their own lives and to experiment with changes in your life. Hal realized that God is doomed to a static existence by the fact of its omniscience and omnipotence.

Leaving your inner centre and considering themselves as outsiders, we lose access to those sources, which may help you to manage your life. We become riders backwards and complaining that the horse is galloping in the wrong direction, but never turn over themselves.