beautiful [Theme] Page 5

There is an outstanding book "Near the Monastery Walls" by Sergei Volkov, one of the last graduates of the old Moscow Theological Academy. In my opinion, one of the best works about the Church and the Trinity-Sergius Lavra of the period of the revolution. Volkov knew Saint Tikhon, Hieromartyr Hilarion Troitsky, listened to Florensky's lectures, saw the closure of the Lavra in the 1920s and its opening after the war, taught, and became beggar. He died in the 1960s without having a family and spent his entire life working on diaries and memories, most of which have disappeared. But even what has been preserved and published in the form of the above book amazes with the volume of knowledge and amazing language, poetic, soft and deep, which marked the era of modernity.
But not only that is attractive. He was replaced by family, household amenities, friends, social circle of the book. He was a man who read all his life voraciously, who in the most bleak years obtained, bit by bit, rare, often forbidden books, analyzed them, got used to them, communicated with them as with living people. Reading, organizing what he read, analyzing texts and ideas became for Volkov the main and main business of life.
The records contain several thousand (!) Books, brochures and articles from the 18th to the middle of the 20th century. Volkov recalled how he returned to books during the difficult war years. “I again plunged into the world of knowledge and truly aesthetic pleasure. And again, as once upon a time in the academic years, I was carried away by all this. Antique World, Middle Ages and Renaissance; Goethe, Shakespeare, Dostoevsky and Balzac; Persian, Japanese and Chinese poets; the history of China and Egypt, philosophical and archaeological journals, memoirs, works, travel - everything came to life for me again. I read new and re-read old books ... Books are material clots of the world mind and world soul - you were true teachers and companions in life. The Academy and Florensky, symbolists, mystics, dreamers, visionaries, poets, musicians - you are the joy and color of the world, teachers, mentors, friends, loved ones and relatives! All the people who came into close contact with me, who influenced me with their kindness, sympathy, affection, wisdom, all teachers, friends, acquaintances, students, comrades - I see, I remember and are grateful to you ”- he enthusiastically described his attitude to books. “How would I like to know,” he wrote, “what people like Romain Rolland, Maurice Maeterlinck, Knut Hamsun, Bernard Shaw, Herbert Wales, Aldington, Feuchtwanger think and say now? What books did they publish, what did they say about this war and about the people and life of our days in general? And I - a contemporary of these talented and deeply respected people dear to my mind and heart - do not hear their voices and their heartbeats "on such days." It is insulting and bitter. And you hear different chatter from all sides, and on the radio, and through newspapers and magazines ... "
Among those records that I had to see, there are whole sections - poetry (Knyazhnin, Soloviev, Agnivtsev, Merezhskovsky, Severyanin, Gumilyov, Pasternak, Teffi and dozens of other names), art history, prose (hundreds of titles - from Olesha, Ilf and Petrov, Bely, Antokolsky, Veresaev to Morua, Gashek, Locke), ancient history, medieval history, modern history, bibliography and, finally, philosophy - Russian and Western, which he knew brilliantly. He made careful extracts from various books about those he knew - first of all, about Florensky, whom he idolized. This is not counting the most varied periodicals and occasional brochures and articles. Separately, a list of "books that I would like to have" was compiled. Among them are Mandelstam, Muratov, Marienhof, Rolland, Nietzsche, Spengler ...
To "feel" that distant, tragic, densely saturated and wonderful time, you need to read not so many authors. Among them, no doubt, Sergei Volkov.

- I think I fell in love...
- I know.
- So scary.
- You didn't plan that, did you?
- All the most beautiful things happen when you don't expect it, so it's scary. But if it's scary, then everything is for real.

My love, my love, my love.

I already love your beauty in you, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and always precious - your heart, your soul. Beauty can be recognized and loved in an hour and stopped loving just as soon, but the soul must be recognized. Believe me, nothing in the world is given without difficulty - even love, the most beautiful and natural feeling. Sorry for the silly comparison. To love, as a foolish person loves, is to play a sonata without timing, without signs, with a constant pedal, but with feeling, without giving either oneself or others true pleasure. But in order to allow oneself to surrender to the feeling of music, one must first hold on, work hard, work, and believe that there is no pleasure in life that would be given in this way. Everything is acquired through labor and hardship. But on the other hand, the harder the work and hardships, the higher the reward. And we have a lot of work ahead of us - to understand each other and keep love and respect for each other.

Bravissimo! Beautiful "la", beautiful! I told you that we didn’t take anything like that! You just have to try!

I thought about my mother: the most beautiful thing about her was that she looked life in the eyes and, despite the fact that this life was thrown at her, she never ceased to be a romantic. It takes a big heart for that.

Motherhood is a wonderful feeling, full of countless sorrows, pain, tremendous work, but at the same time full of joy, pride and a sense of happiness. This feeling of weightlessness and irreplaceability

The silence that reigned in the cave did not frighten her at all, on the contrary, as if it helped to concentrate in order to see, understand, feel something very important. Here, in the stone belly of the earth, it was surprisingly good, surprisingly calm, amazing... Correct. All fears, doubts, aspirations - all the fuss - as if remained there, on the surface. And here it was twilight. He hugted, bayukal, washed away the past, alluring, superfluous, completely unnecessary. Julia froze, not understanding what was happening, only enjoying the peace and tranquility that suddenly engulfed her. I guess that's the nirvana... But even this thought was superfluous, empty, worthless. There was no need to think, it was only necessary to absorb this calmness and immerse yourself in it, dissolve, merge with it. With a great emptiness, from which something unknown, beautiful, the main thing must be born.

A person who can see beauty only in gold and cut precious stones is not capable of creating anything beautiful himself.

that cannot fit in the soul.

In the midst of decline and fear, it is impossible to create something beautiful.

I realized that no matter what we talk about, there is still nothing older than the Jewish question. I remembered Huberman's beautiful poem: Their idol is not gold, but the struggle against the struggle for peace; as one - thugs, and in their pants they have sawn-off shotguns. This is just about today's Israel.

that cannot fit in the soul.

Any Meditation does not change the situation. It changes you.
It is necessary for your outlook on life to change. Then it does not matter whether it may be a good situation or a bad situation, you will already see it differently.
Because every situation is just a lesson, a study. And only your view of these situations paints them in "good" or "bad". It's neither good nor bad. Every situation is just a chance to learn something, to learn something, to learn something. Some situations you like, some don't.
Meditation gives you so much energy, juiciness and ecstasy, you have such a great mood that no situation is important. Some new level of clarity quality is emerging...
And nothing can affect you. That's the goal.